In my 5th Year of Wandering

I remember the day when something clicked. I suddenly realized that a process had started. I also felt depressed. I just knew that freedom was my right and destiny, but I felt everbody and everything was holding me back. My work, my family, the lack of time, just everything.

In my second year of wandering I started realizing that my little boys were spiritual masters who taught me as least as much as I was able to teach them. I also realized that my wife was my soul mate and that without her this spiritual journey would probably not have been possible at all.

In my third year of wandering I realized that at work I was surrounded by two types of friends. Those who support me and those who encourage me to change my perspective. I also learned that my current job offers me a perfect stepping stone for my next career, that of a spiritual writer and a life coach. It teaches me the art of communication and connectedness and allows me to be financially independent; but most amazing of all, it opens my eyes to the magic of the Tao every moment.

In my fourth year I finally met my demon. I learned that he is part of me and therefore not really scary. After getting deceived by his trickery a number of times we have finally reached a modus vivendi: I don't judge my thoughts any more because I now know where they are coming from. I also humor him by expressing my masculinity a little more and he provides me with enormous energy.

In my fifth year of wandering I seem to embrace all the stuff I need to do more willingly because it has dawned on me that everything is there for a reason. The magic of the Tao is there moment by moment, ready for you to study, and mostly, ready to help. All I aspire really is to grasp some of these metaphysical laws, if not scientifically than at least intuitively, and later finding the words to share them with others. I am sure that if I keep wandering then one day I will stop to smell the flowers and will finally realize that the destination I always aspired to get to is right there in front of me and always has been.