The Wisdom of the Shadow

See the stone set in your eyes,
see the thorn twist in your side,
I wait for you.

Sleight of hand and twist of fate,
on a bed of nails she makes me wait;
and I wait without you.

With or without you,
with or without you,
I can't live,
with or without you.
(U2, With or Without You)

Having a shadow feels like you are doomed with it and doomed without. Back and forth you alternate from desire to repulsion. Yet, did it ever occur to you that your spiritual nature may have something to do with your conflict? Perhaps ordinary folks would just accept the stuff below the hood - the greed, the fear, the lust, the scheming, the envy - and would see it for what it is, part of being human. Perhaps they would shrug their shoulders and say,"nobody is perfect, especially me". The bad news is that we spiritual folks have a chip on our shoulder, but the good news is that we are forced to do something about it. In the mean-time, accept the twisted situation you are in. Regretting and condemning is counter-productive.

Spirituality may have contributed accenting the turmoil inside, but suffering is certainly not necessary. Accept the tension inside and you will find a resolution. The answer is certainly not that you will never give in to temptation again - that didn't go so well last time you tried!
No, take a good look at what exactly the shadow wants from you and get it in a spiritually kosher way. Take a step towards the light and shadow at the same time. That's what transcendence of the internal tension is all about. However, you may have to deviate a little from the perceived wisdom of the spiritual crowd. After all, you are in a bind because your current notion of spirituality has caused this duality in you.

Who knows what is right for you. Develop a new personality trait, make a professional change, adjust a compulsive habit, face your fears, find a new partner or friends, re-engage with a creative outlet, let go of some spiritual belief sets.The sky is the limit as far as opportunities for change are concerned. Be open to life's suggestions to experiment. This period doesn't have to be a scary soul searching process. Just let go of all the armor you carry with you and experience how beautiful it feels to be naked instead.

All the tensions and frustrations that have brought you here are just designed to catapult you to the next level. We are all a bit lazy so without a little kick in the behind we never would set out  to make true changes. A spiritual journey is not a stroll in the park, it is a full-contact sport. You will like how you turn out to be once life has digested you. But no worries, the uphill climb can end today. Peace of mind and serenity are yours to capture once you have made the right adjustment. Look for the wisdom that lies hidden in your shadow and then leave the duality behind.

By Christian