My elder sister passed away in 1993. She committed suicide. I was never willing to face this truth. She was ten years older than I am. I was almost brought up by her. She took care of me. She fed me and played with me. We had a very, very good relationship. I loved her very much and also depended on her very much.
I was not willing to face her death. I didn’t even want to think about it, until one day I was willing to face the truth. I released this incident. My first reaction was anger, “How dare you leave me alone? How could you not love me anymore?” After the anger dissolved though, I felt calm. Still, it seemed like something was missing. I sat quietly with this feeling and let this feeling show me the way. Within less than a minute, gratitude surfaced deep from my soul!
What was I grateful for? I was grateful that she really cared for me. I was grateful that
she loved me very deeply. I was grateful that there had been this wonderful person in my life! The gratitude kept bubbling up and dissolved all the anger, grief, and abandonment brought about by her death! And then I realized, she and I never separated. She is in my soul. She is in my heart. She is here with me forever! This lesson taught me the power of gratitude!
By Suzhen Liu
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