Ego's Oxymoron

The thought-system of the ego appears so rational, but if you really dig down deep, it is without any foundation and utterly flawed. Many spiritual writers have written about the intrinsic madness of the ego, but this insight becomes so much more powerful when you recognize the contradiction within your own thought-system. For me it became such an eye-opener when I realized that my so-called passion for spiritual writing is partly a desire for social recognition and lecturing others wrapped into spiritual clothes. The way I found this out was when I read the many stories of 'enlightenment' that other people had experienced. I suddenly heard myself thinking, "Hey, if spiritual writers come a dime a dozen these days, what is left for me to write about?" I had a healthy laugh at the naivete of this thought. What kind of spiritual teacher is that who minds if others get 'enlightened' before him? It is a little bit like a professor who minds that one day his students might outgrow him. Sadly, if some of our academicians really asked themselves this question, they probably would find that they do mind.

Have you ever found an intrinsic contradiction in your thought-system. If you did, do you mind sharing it with us? Most of us have one. No matter how much we aim to become light workers, there is always some dirt we sweep under the carpet in the process. Thinking about your mind conflicts can be quite confusing, though the issue becomes so clear once it is really out in the open. Talking about it is hard too. When the above mentioned insight struck me the first time around, I felt like a monster, since admitting this sentiment contradicts everything my spiritual path stands for. I guess overcoming the ugliness inside ourselves requires that we first discover and admit it to ourselves.