Why to Eat Cake when you are Dieting?

Will-power is a strange concept. Why do some people succeed in keeping their New Year's Resolutions while others fail until they stop bothering altogether. Succeeding in getting what you want is simple if you are close enough to your goal, but seemingly impossible if you still have some psychological baggage to throw over-board. I remember once a woman saying when she heard the expression sexual addiction for the first time, "Why doesn't he just keep his zipper locked up?" Well, that is as helpful as saying, "Why do you eat cake when you are on a diet?" Fighting an addiction or dealing with a pernicious habit is a psychological journey in which many things in the person's life will have to be adjusted. Let me give you a real life example.

A woman working in the financial industry had been overweight to start with, but unfortunately, was steadily gaining weight as the years went by. It never bothered her since her husband apparently didn't mind and she had the money to hide her weight behind tailor-made designer clothes. But then one day her sister went on a crash diet, coupled with an extreme work-out plan and everyone was stunned at her transformation. Given that our financial  analyst had always been the "successful one" within her family, she wanted to do the same. She had already succeeded in shedding 50 pounds when she suddenly realized that in all meetings and professional encounters she had her arms and legs crossed. No matter how much she tried, her arms and legs always moved on auto-pilot when she met somebody. Her husband happened to be a psychologist and explained to her that before the diet her weight had psychologically protected her against criticism. Without it, her vulnerability makes her feel naked, especially in front of her aggressive male colleagues. After that insight  she changed gears and focused on her self-confidence instead. After years of training and reprogramming her arms and legs started opening up, and as her defensive demeanor disappeared so did her pounds.

Addictive behaviours and pernicious habits have a psychological message for us that something needs to be adjusted. If you try to overcome them with will-power you are likely to run into a wall sooner or later. But as you tackle the underlying psychological problems it gets much easier. Eventually you reach a stage when you give the wall a little push and it crumbles. A spiritual path is exactly like that only you are a little further along in your personal development. Every obstacle you face, every step you miss has a message for you. You just no longer get upset when things don't work out for you, just because you have seen over and over that a little personal re-positioning immediately propels you to a much higher spiritual plane. Enjoy your travels and enjoy the cake!