Would have, Could have

I once was asked to go on a stage in front of 400 people to perform some experiment. Of course I was scared and nervous, but I did the best that I could and before I knew it, my participation in this experiment was over. Afterwards for days I mulled over what else I could have said, or what I could have done instead. All the while I knew that this was nothing but a mental waste of energy, but I compulsively did it nevertheless, after the effect faded after a few days and I managed to move on with my life.

It was then that it hit me how our drives force us to live outside of the present time. Either we bewail missed opportunities in the past, or we anticipate how we rise to the occasion in the future. Meanwhile, we are missing out on what is happening around us. So what can we actually do to prevent this? Living intensely in the present is one thing. It is ok to run after your passions, but do so with both feet in it. After some time you will realize that reflecting on the past is meaningless, since first you can't change it, and second you never know what the true implication for you and others really is. You will also learn that anticipating the future is meaningless. Reality is way too complex. A safe assumption is  that first it comes differently, and second, as you would have thought.