Feel the Emotion and Do it Anyway

Imagine you sit in a conference room and the colleague opposite to you attacks your case. You feel your heart beat rising, you feel that tingle in your throat and butterflies in your stomach. Yet, despite all that, you state your case with a calm and steady voice, carefully choosing your words and at the end of your response, if you are really, really good at this, you manage to smile.

The disconnect between thoughts, emotions and actions is kind of obvious, yet, for some reason, we never separate them. David Friedman highlighted this idea in his book 'The Thought Exchange'. He gave the example of a dog wearing an electric collars that simulate an invisible fence. The closer the get to it, the higher an electric shock that the poor dog receives. The shock is harmless, but many dogs are so irritated that they pull away. Yet, once a dog decides to go through it, the fence is broken because the dog learns once and for all that nothing really happens when you pass it. Think of your emotions in the same way, you feel the irritation, but you proceed with your action and you will realize that the emotion cannot really hold you back.

I am a public speaker and I remember how painful it was for me in the beginning to step in front of this massive wall of energy. Earlier in my career I always singled out friendly faces in the crowd, or I reminded myself why my audience needed to receive my message. Today, I just enjoy the thrill of feeling these emotions and can't wait for the take-off phase when my thoughts and action leave this initial discomfort behind. For me now it is a joy to experience thoughts, emotions and actions at the same time, as well as the curious fact that they pull in opposite directions in the few seconds when I begin my speech. I borrowed the title of this note from Susan Jeffers' excellent book 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway'. It turns out that fear is just one negative emotion of many. You can study and overcome all of them with targeted thoughts and actions, but the first step has to be that you have to be aware of what is going on below the surface.