The Journey Home

They say that in the really olden days, that is, before the fall, we were connected. Like bees in a hive everybody was doing their thing as if they constantly heard a voice in their head, do this and now do this. Love was instinctive and it was all-present, with perfect cooperation of everyone, there was abundance everywhere and the lion was lying next to the lamb, strength and innocence lived together.

Then came the 'what if', the new voice in the head. The idea that perhaps the fellow next to you could be different, could be scheming, could be taking things away. Have you ever seen a bee stealing the honey from the hive? It is a contradiction in itself when only love (or in the case of animals, only cooperative instinct) exists. 

I have observed an interesting change in me in recent years. I was like everyone else in that I had my friends and my foes, my timid and bold moments, my bouts of fears and my phases of confidence. Today, I feel that I am experiencing what the Course in Miracle claims to be the case, that is, I experience that there are only two states, fear and love. I no longer have foes because I understand now when I am projecting my fears and aspirations onto others. I no longer have timid moments just because I always do what the Tao dictates me to, but I sure experience fear. What if I don't make it professionally, what if I have the same dry spell that colleagues way better than me had to endure, what if my kids have to leave their private school when I don't make it professionally? What if my writing career will never take off?I guess you got the picture. 

This nagging noise may be a transitionary phase or it might be with me until my last day, but the important point it that it is no longer holding me back. I can already experience oneness here and now if only I can recognize love. But love is not an abstract concept, it is situational. If you handle one situation at the time you in your movie you cannot miss it. You will recognize her. In fact you cannot miss her smiling face when you see her. My hunch is that when you reach this stage, when you can only see fear and love your journey is pretty much over. Why would you ever listen to this nagging noise in your head in the presence of beauty. It is a no-brainer really.