Eye to Eye with the Shadow

It is hard to have an objective look at the ugliness deep inside ourselves: the greed, the fear, the jealousy, the violence, the lust, the stinginess, the endless worries. Do any of these themes resonate with you? I wonder if we spiritual path travelers are especially vulnerable to develop a shadow just because we reach for the light. It might also be hard for us to accept the dark side since we believe that we are part of the exclusive spiritual crowd. Shadows have their ways of catching up with you though. Perhaps you have encountered pernicious habits or addictions, which is a classic message to yourself that something is of kilter somewhere.

I ignored my shadow until I had an interesting dream. I dreamt that I was on vacation with my family and as I was walking through the town I heard the news on the radio that a near-by prison population had broken out. My first thought went to my family and I assured myself that they were safely in their hotel room. But then I looked around and realized that a group of convicts was already behind me and I heard one saying 'There is fresh meat'. I knew they wanted to rape me and ran in a near-by house. One guy ran after me and eventually caught up. We wrestled and both fell through a window onto a balcony. I finally got a good look at him. He was a muscular, demon like figure with a shaven head. He tried to get to me, but despite his intimidating muscles I could hold him at arms-length fairly easily. I wasn't afraid of him any longer and observed with curiosity that he increasingly got agitated. Then I woke up.

This dream happened a couple of years ago and of course I knew that the violent demon was my disowned shadow - the opponent of Mr. Spirituality. Still, It was more an intellectual insight; it took me a long time before I could truly feel this aggressive sexual energy in me as well. I figure that is what therapy is all about. With a lot of back and forth you finally get the issues that harass you out in the open.

By the way, I am not encouraging you to succumb to your dark forces - this is hardly the meaning of shadow work. You have to protect your spiritual self as well and giving in to the demon inside will surely launch you on a guilt trip afterwards. No, the point is to start looking out for all aspects of your personality. There is always something proactive you can do without violating the light worker in you. In my case, I figured that I could become whole by being more assertive in all my dealings. I also developed my physical side by hitting the gym. Nowhere it is written that spiritual path travelers can't be manly, right?

It turns out that your shadow does not need to concern you at all.You have a perfect spiritual coach and she is called life. All your relationships and everything that you manifest in your environment encourages you to find that creative outlet that satisfies all your personality aspects. All you have to do really is to show up for life, hard though as it sometimes appears. Be the creator of your destiny and conquer earth before you create Heaven on earth. Based on my experience, if you truly show up in life you will be always able to see eye to eye with your human as well as your devine self.









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