On Sexual Healing

When male and female combine,
all things achieve harmony.
(Tao Te Ching)

Sex is a confusing subject within the spiritual community. There are some folks who are adamant that sex is a hindrance in the final steps towards becoming free and then there are others who argue that sex is just like all the other daily dances of the Tao - the yin and yang, the dance of male and female energy - and that it is a creative part of life. More, you can make this activity holy very much like the tantra sex folks aspire to do. My own experience on the subject would be, just do what feels right. The Tao knows where to find you when an upcoming behavioral change is in store for you. Sexual energy is very powerful as we know - you certainly don't want to repress this force ahead of schedule or expect to experience some very powerful Freudian slips.

The sexual dance of yin and yang energies are highly psychological like everything else you experience.You can learn so much about your hidden drives by sexually expressing whatever it is that feels right to you. But you have to make it real for yourself and others.
I remember Deepak Chopra once telling the story of a client who for years had some abnormal sexual desire (he never explained what exactly that desire was about) and when his patient finally got a group of willing participants together, he got afraid in the last moment, grabbed his clothes and ran away, only to find himself fantasizing about his dark desire again afterwards. While Dr. Chopra didn't really have an advice for his client one way or another, the reader of his book was left concluding, 'For heaven's sake, just get done whatever it is you feel you have to do'. That is what life and our spiritual journey is all about, distinguishing the real you from the perceived you. If others want to help you in this soul searching process, then please do your part. Sex is exactly like every other aspects of life, it is your interaction with your environment that allows you to find the real you. The Tao - life - heals, so if you still carry sexual demons around with you, get them out of your mind and let your friends help you in this soul-searching process.

In ancient Greek - the language of the new testament - gnosis means enlightenment as well as sexual union. There might be an enlightened state that is beyond sex, but until you reach that stage, life will probably encourage you to focus on the sexual enlightenment process instead. There is no more powerful way of becoming whole than participating in the dance of 'yin and yang' in my opinion. Christianity takes a very different stance. The number four is equated as the Holy Trinity plus the devil. So in the Christian tautology, you squeeze out everything that is human - and associate it with the devil -and separate it from what you perceive to be the holy part. You certainly can do this - hence the term tautology - but whether this methodology is helpful for you as a spiritual seeker is a very different question. The Asians have a much more holistic approach. The Indians worship Durga (the devine creative force ) as well as Kali (the devine destructive force) while the Taoists consider yin and yang as a symbol of wholeness. I am with the Asians on this one; move with the force of nature and not against it.

While you should express yourself freely and creatively, please also don't get lost in the sexual force since the mission statement of the Tao traveler is to become ultimately free. As my co-author Su Zhen and I argued once in a different note, the actual sexual act doesn't have to lead you astray from your spiritual path, but "mind sex"  does:
http://zeitgeistinma.blogspot.com/2013/03/dont-confuse-mind-sex-with-mind-blowing.html

So if you engage in mind sex, you will have to get the demons first out in the open. The practice of sexual healing can do that, sexual repression can only intensify the dark forces in you.