Success and Education

Could it be that the more "successful" you are, the crazier you are? Could it be that the children of the driven and well-off parents are unhappier than the children of the poorer, yet more relaxed parents? Could it be true what the Bible says, that "the last ones will be first and the first will be last?"

Su Zhen grew up in an Asian school system, determined to crank out driven students. Students were bombarded with daily tests. Learning was fact based, so if you wanted to succeed in this system, you had to give up pretty much all extracurricular activities and devoted all your energy to your study and tests instead. Schools didn’t encourage personal exploration, no "life skill" learning and no personal relationship or emotional management were ever taught. So you learn how to succeed in such a system, you become one- dimensional in your approach and start neglecting your true passions. At the time of her college entry exam she found herself totally crippled, mentally and physically. All the energy was spent and the fire and zest for life was gone at that stage of her life.

China, like other developing countries, is poorer than the West, so people and students are driven to move out of poverty by getting a good education. In the US, the intellectual race may be a little bit more subtle, but it is pretty much the same. The "successful" people have figured out that if their children can become successful as they are, they have to become multi-dimensional, they have to stimulate the right brain as well as the left brain, they have to be artist as much as scientist. In short, they have to be all-around talents just as Harvard University wants them to be. So all week parents hover over their children and scurry them from math to music, from soccer to theater class. And when they are in their teens, they better get started on writing a book, or launching some cultural classes because that is what the leaders at Harvard expect these days.

All pressure, whether it is desperately cramming information into your head or by practicing all day and night how to become a well-groomed all-around talent who has a shot at making it into the Ivy-League implies that you are at risk of deviating from your true potential. You are a Daughter of God, all you have to do is to know that you are. Life makes you the master you are born to be. You can relax, everything you will ever need to discover who you truly are you already have in hand. That is, it is true if you believe that it is.Tell your Tiger mom that the Tao already takes good care of you and as long as she truly loves you, life is perfect already. Let's leave the pressure cooker for lentils, the children of God need none.

Su Zhen went back to visit her family the other day and was reminded that all her siblings had mastered life without an Ivy-league education. It was life, the demands of making a living, that taught them the necessary skills how to succeed in real life. It took them a while to get there, but each and everyone has now mastered their professions. Life takes good care of you if you let it, life cooperates if you always put your best foot forward. The Tao will make you the person you were born to be.

So where does this leave us? All parents want the best for their children. All educators want to make their students succeed. Harvard will always have a vision for success and people will always scheme to get their children - out of millions of other applicants - admitted. The art of life is to understand that there is only one thing your child truly needs and that is your love and your attention. Success is doing everything with enthusiasm, success is about igniting that fire inside, success is to find out for yourself that there is only one true emotion inside of you and that is love. The Tao will teach you how to be successful. Open up to life moment by moment and you will be a master at whatever it is that your heart desires. Yes, you will be first like all your other soul siblings. Before God everyone is special.

By Christian and Su Zhen