Love

In the end only kindness matters.
(Jewel, Hands)

When Su Zhen was a little child she had a big fight with her sister. She wanted something that her sister would refuse to give her. When she had an anger tantrum for what seemed like hours her sister finally lost it and pushed her out of the door to cool off.

We are wired to remember the events that have a big emotional impact on us. Sure enough, this conflict with her sister, Su Zhen has remembered all her life. Even they always loved each other, and even though they spent countless hours napping together, somehow that episode was traumatic in that it taught Su Zhen that rejection equals not-being-loved. Even worse, whenever she now encounters situation when she doesn't get what she wants, that painful association comes back: "if someone doesn't give me what I want, my love must be rejected, right?"

Isn't that strange? How many times in our life do we cry out loud to get what we want and fail? We associate this rejection with not-being-loved. And what about the countless times when other people are kind and considerate, but our memory likes to zoom into the few cases when things didn't work out. Don’t we forget about the 99% of good things they have done for us and exaggerate and complain about the few mistakes? We make ourselves miserable by remembering, associating and often subconsciously reacting to those negative experiences.

They say that in old age we become forgetful and absent-minded. Yet, this process might be a very spiritual one for many. If you are open to it, a higher authority re-arranges memories, attaches new meaning to old episodes like the fight between Su Zhen and her sister, and generally cleans out all interferences that stand in the way of love. Fact of the matter is, we are not "rational" and never have been. We are love! It is your choice to find that out today; you don't have to wait for old age for this realization.

Recognize that you are looking for love just like everyone else and approach every interaction from this perspective. Recognize love when you see it, and be willing to overlook the apparent lack of love if someone had a bad day. You always have a choice to see problems or love. Experience how liberating it is when you recognize the truth! You are loved and cherished no matter what! You are love!

By Christian and Su Zhen