It is impossible not to believe what you see, but it is equally impossible to see what you do not believe.
(A Course in Miracles)
At work, I used to have a few people I didn't get along with. Today I can honestly say that this is no longer true. Somewhat troubled relationships maybe, but I carry no ill-will against anyone. Today, I have a few friends I hang out with there, and otherwise work with many others I mostly care for, but know very little about. Today I can honestly say that no-one - at least from my perspective - is on a collision course with me! A decades ago or two, I couldn't have said this. Then, I did feel that there were a few people who were consciously undermining me. Well, who knows, maybe they were, or maybe they weren't. But either way, over the years it was my story line that changed. As time went by I realized that these "foes" exhibited unexpected acts of kindness which were simply impossible to reconcile with the hypothesis that they are mean-spirited in any way.
Whether my colleagues changed over the years, or whether my perception of them changed, I honestly don't know; probably a little of both. I am certainly not saying that people can't be mean, or that they can't be on a collision course with us. This is our movie set, and the people in our life just mirror back our own fears and belief-sets back to us. What I am saying though, reality can be way more complex than we assume it to be, and reality will adjusts to our frame of mind. So please give everyone a second and a third chance if they appeared to miss the mark at one point. Maybe during the olden days it was my own suspicion that made the hostile action of the other party self-fulfilling.
Just a little example in this direction. I remember the day when I saw a colleague who I had always considered a little insensitive, and on occasions outright aggressive vis-a-via others, as he was handing out roses to colleagues in support of a friend who had suffered a heart-attack. That simple gesture of kindness and love changed my perception of him forever. The good thing when you know people over long stretches of time, you are bound to encounter these unexpected acts of kindness. Instead of zooming in any faux-pas that might have happened as well, zoom into these positive acts and tailor the story of your friend from this vantage point. You are that powerful as a creator.
Start with the belief set you would like to experience and then look for the accompanying evidence rather than the other way around. While we cannot stay friends with someone who has an agenda that leads them away from us, we at least could try to see what happens when we drop our agenda. We might be in for a surprise and our friend changes directions with us. Everyone who crosses our path just reflects back our own struggles. Change your mind-set about your brother and experience healing in both of you:
Do not be deceived in your brother, and see only his loving thoughts as his reality, for by denying that his mind is split, you will heal yours.
(A Course in Miracles)
Don't get me wrong though. Wishful thinking doesn't get us anywhere, right-minded living does! Jesus' old reminder that we should remove the log in front of our own eye before we comment on our brother's short-comings is as true as ever. Healing starts inside, and with it, we might be so powerful to heal the environment we are living in.