Sunday, July 2, 2017

Piece by Piece

And all I remember is your back,
walking towards the airport, leaving us all in your past.
I traveled fifteen hundred miles to see you,
I begged you to want me, but you didn’t want to.
But piece by piece, he collected me, up
off the ground, where you abandoned things.
Piece by piece he filled the holes that you burned in me,
six years old and you know,
he never walks away,
he never asks for money.
He takes care of me,
he loves me.
Piece by piece, he restores my faith
that a man can be kind and the father could, stay.

Truth be told, I am not doing so well. At work I get signals to stay and tough it out even though my effort to accomplish this feat is more than super-human; it is soul wrenching. No way in hell that I would ever have signed up for this battle. But then, I have two little boys to take care of and they need me to show up right now. 

Truth be told for my boys I would go through hell. You might be able to walk away from friends, perhaps even from your spouse, but when you give up on your kids you are cursed for several lifetimes. Walking away from your children is like succumbing to an addiction. Someone else has to clean up behind you, and that would be them. Your children would then have to face the demons that you are running away from.

Truth also be told, I have very little patience for the spiritual community right now. Everyone sends each other uplifting memes with colorful photos, but when the rubber hits the road they walk out on you because they feel so enlightened and don't want to deal with stuff. Enlightenment is a full contact sport, get used to it. Allow yourself to be abolished and GOD will show you your SELF, piece by piece.  

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