Wired for Perfection

"Many people excuse their own faults but judge other persons harshly. We should reverse this attitude by excusing others’ shortcomings and by harshly examining our own."

( Paramahansa Yogananda)

Have you observed how different we all are. When it comes to gender, you must surely have noticed that women come from Venus while men come from Mars. But then, all of us, men and women alike, are wired differently. I had the most amazing insight at work as a financial strategist where we do get on average only some 60 percent of our calls right; for some reason I always tended to zoom only into the mistakes and beat myself up over them, even when they happened because of some changed circumstances outside of my control. Over the years I noticed that I was much unhappier than many of my colleagues who only had an eye for the overall portfolio and who naturally were quite happy as long as the overall portfolio was ahead.

I even met some colleagues who had no ability to find flaws with them; their brain somehow always overwrote their own accountability and only found fault with changed circumstances or the mistakes of others. I couldn't figure out in the beginning whether they were merely obnoxious or simply insane until I realized that they are neither. They are simply wired differently.

Why would I be the 'rational' one if I live in self-imposed hell? The upside of my style is that I remember mistakes that happened years ago, and am consequently a better investor. In contrast, I don't do so well in marketing and sales whereas my friends with a faulty self-accountability shine there.

Thanks to my extreme risk-reversion I woke up to the realization that the punishing voice inside was neither rational nor me. An observer of sorts kicked in. In my case, the relentless nagging voice in my head has brought me in touch with what lies beyond the ego. Sometimes we have to go through hell in order to touch Heaven.