The Bhagavad Gita contrasts three inner states: the Zen-like equanimity, the strive of a goal getter, and the lazy bum energy. I possess all three natures. The reader of my notes knows that I have my Zen moments, but whoever sees me in a competitive game also realizes that I can be as alpha as they come. Lastly, I am a bit ashamed to admit, when it comes to helping our boys with their homework, I am incredibly lazy.
The road to enlightenment is tricky. Some perceive themselves as Zen, but are rudely woken up when life reminds them that they still have a job to do. Some others, in contrast, beat themselves up over supposedly being lazy, only to realize that they are but a step away from enlightenment. And as far as the goal-getters are concerned, life will be happy to give them a goal worth their while.
Let life be your life coach. I have become quite good at figuring out what lies under the hood. I would never abuse spirituality to express my competitive nature. Instead, I give myself a time-out and jump into life’s messiness to express my competitive nature on life’s battlefield. Before I know it, the Zen equanimity is back which I am happy to share with the reader. Spirituality is an avocation for me, but apparently not a profession.
When it comes to spirituality, I will hopefully always be more than a fair-weather friend. Yet, I can’t promise to be more than a part-time lover either. I have to respect my nature. I know that I can’t win the spiritual game, but I hope that I can wake up from it.