Meditation and Me

I never really learned how to meditate from any masters so I never knew if the way I  meditate is right or wrong.  However, over the years, I have just become a natural at meditation. I naturally reach a state of meditation no matter what I am doing.  So I don’t set up a time to meditate any more, my life is a meditation. Of course I was not always like this. Before, I always needed to set up a time for meditation, and if I didn’t have time for it, I became anxious. It seemed that my peace of mind depended on meditation.  And it had become my priority.

And then one day I just realized that my obsession about peace and meditation is just another form of rejection of life.  It’s ok that I don’t feel peaceful. It’s ok if I feel painful, and it’s ok I feel anxious; all these states are part of life. Since that realization, I just meditate whenever I have time, and it turns out that I get the ability now to meditate on whatever I am doing.  I can meditate when I am doing dishes; it really soothes my anxiety.  Whenever I am doing dishes or put away dishes, it just like a purifying process to me; dishes are getting clean and get organized and so is my state of being.

I can also meditate when I am talking to people.  When I try to tune into the conversation, I naturally slip into a state of being, a harmony for me.  I feel the other person, and I feel myself, I can feel how things is going one and I really enjoy it!

I can meditate when I am walking or doing exercise. It’s a state of being. I always notice that there is lots going on in the beginning; the conversation I just had with someone is popping up; the things that are happening in my life are chattering in my head, and I just embrace them all; I just allow them to be there. As time go by, the activities in the head decrease; I slip into a state of being; I can hear the wave of the trees; I can smell the grass; I can hear the little streams happily flowing by; I hear the birds singing; I see the flowers, and I can feel my body movement. Everything is in harmony. Me and my environment blends into a harmonious moving picture; I am in bliss!

I can also meditate when I am eating.  When I wolf down the food and am not present with my eating, I always suffer afterward.  So I always make it a point when I am having food and it’s so much fun to enjoy the food, the texture, the taste, the chewing, the smell, and the fullness of my stomach makes a harmonious existence.  Every experience can be a bliss!

I can also meditate when I am listening to music!  Emotions always surface up when I listen to different music so it’s more like a healing to me.  When I am sad, I play music to fit that mood and bring out all the hidden energies and feelings buried deep inside; tears stream down. I can’t help crying like a baby in those moments.  At the same time, I ask myself what I am crying for; what’s inside? Often, I get very deep and liberating insights!  They are totally transforming experiences. My heart is open and vulnerable; old wounds show up and are accepted and cared for. It’s a soul healing process.  Deep and very old memories surface, and they are accepted and healed.

Other times I just totally tune into the peaceful and silent vibe the music carries with and become one! Yes, I become one!  It’s always a process of merging and be one with all my experiences! No one is there, just the move, just the wind, just the sound; just my meditation and me!

By Su Zhen