Mind the Lonely Mouth Syndrome

I remember reading a one-page editorial of the Sunday New York Times of someone who claimed that he decided to beat his alcohol addiction with will-power alone. He said that he wanted to give AA a try but when he saw their spiritual declarations he got annoyed by their admission that they are powerless. ‘I am not powerless,’ he claimed, ‘I am the creator of my own destiny.’ Well my friend, I thought to myself, your intentions are noble but doesn’t the proof lie in the pudding? I was surprised that the New York Times devoted an entire page to his case. It would have been far more convincing had he reviewed his ‘21 years dry celebration’ based on will-power alone instead.

We are all addicted. We are wired this way. Dopamines kick in, and the feeling of joy and exhilaration flush through our system when we get what we want, just as they are painfully withdrawn when our expectations get disappointed. Addictions, compulsive behaviors, annoying habits, all of these nuances and extreme realities are the different ends of the spectrum of a struggle that we all have. Some need work to feel good about themselves, some need the loving arms of a significant other to have it all together. We all craft the story that works for us and build a support system to make it work. Few can exist in isolation and are entirely invincible. Nearly everyone can be thrown off-track.

In the now there is no clinging, no expecting and no looking back. In liberation we have rewired our neural network entirely, or are no longer swayed by the firing of our genetic and psychological stimuli . The Corona-virus lock-down may give you a taste for the demons that are out to get you when you want to knock on Heaven’s door. Do you suffer from ‘kodokuna kuchi’, as the Japanese put the ‘lonely mouth syndrome’ that makes us open the fridge way too often? Do you miss the human interaction or the stress at work? Do you open the liquor cabinet well before sundown? Chances are all that shall pass in a few months and you get your normal life back.

Consider it as an appetizer of the spiritual quest to come. We are asked to rewire our system entirely.