The self indulgence in pleasure and pain

 There is a war within that cannot be won but it can be put aside once we become sensitive enough to awaken to the inconsistencies of thinking, feeling and actions. There is self indulgence in pleasure and pain. Suzhen Liu’s note, The “Perks” of Getting Jealous, is an astute observation in this direction.

 

When we start to compare, jealousy will arise.  When you think he is better than you are, fear will arise; then hostility; then you will become hostile towards him.  The resentment will arise after the hostility. Do you experience this process when you start to compare?  In one way, you have hostility, in another way, there are other feelings that arise.  Do you know what they are?

 

We all have these.  If you can observe what’s happening inside you, the comparison will stop right away. Have you ever discovered that you feel somewhat happy when you have hatred toward someone? Have you ever discovered why you have so many obstacles preventing you from experiencing happiness and that you cannot break through them?  Because you didn’t see the whole picture but only feel that you hate the other and feel conflicted about it.  You cannot be liberated from these obstacles when you cannot see the other sides.  When you have resentment and hostility toward someone, the other side is that you feel happy about it.  Isn’t that so?

 

Why can different races keep their hatred toward each other for so many generations?  Because when I am not as good as you are, if I can hate you, I at least can possess this contempt.  I can despise you and refuse to accept you.  This hatred and lack of acceptance can balance the inferiority feeling arising from comparison.

 

Comparison will disappear if this balance didn’t exist.  Isn’t it so?  There are always some “perks” accompanied with your suffering, you won’t wake up from your suffering if you cannot recognize this perk.  So we have to be very honest about ourselves.

Suzhen Liu, The “Perks” Of Getting Jealous