If you cannot name the process of observing yourself, just leave it alone. Actually I feel the key of this observing process is not about what you will see, or what you need to know, but in the process of observing yourself, when you just pay pure attention. This is when your consciousness is transforming in the meantime.
You don’t need language to describe what you see and what you feel. Just sit silently with this feeling. When you can be with yourself, no matter whether it is perceived to be negative or positive, this process is a process of learning and upgrading yourself. Title and naming is not important. For example, if I feel violent, so what?
Like you gave this feeling a label, “violence”, and then you leave it there, that’s it. You didn’t really learn anything from this labeling? You just gave it a concept. Afterward, nothing changed. So we are used to labeling things. We can also pay attention to this. It is good also if there is no label. Just be with this feeling. Why do we need a label?
There will be a limit when there is a label. If there is no label, there will be flexibility. Once we have this flexibility, isn’t our heart bigger and wider? So that’s it, there is no limitation for our observation. It is an all inclusive wider attention.
That’s it, a simple attention. When we are paying attention, we are transforming and clarifying. It is like magic! But if we keep saying, “I saw this and that, why am I still in this? Why didn't it stop?” or “Ah, I saw it, how come nothing changes in me?” Then you still want to interfere or think with a “should mentality”. You are still cycling here, including the pattern of intervening in order to improve things. We have to pay attention to this.
For example, we see that we are violent, and then think violence is not okay. At this time the observation stops and it becomes a judgement that I am against violence, I am trying my best to become nonviolent, this is the continuity of violence.
If you find Suzhen Liu’s writings helpful, please check out her book, ‘Letting Go—Release Your Suffering’ on Amazon. From personal experience with the Letting Go Method, I can highly recommend this book!
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