Never mind the spiritual resume

 Between the age of 20 and 40 I was consumed with a wide range of existential questions, but despite endless thinking and reading, I never found a single answer. Due to some business-related stress at the age of 40, I started a simple meditative exercise as a way to acquire some peace of mind, and within two weeks a major insight occurred that led to more meditative activities. Five months later a huge cosmic-consciousness event answered seven of my questions and catapulted me into a different reality. I then concluded that all answers were “within,” and for the next 15 years I went on silent meditation retreats with Christians, Buddhists, and Advaita groups during which all of my other questions got answered. Nevertheless, I still did not feel free. Then, a new question arose, “How is it possible to stay in a unity-conscious state of mind permanently rather than oscillating between a sense of selfhood and no-self?” In 1999, after a deep experience of gratitude on a solo hiking retreat, “the little guy in the head” (the sense of a personal “me”) totally vanished, and the result was freedom, contentment, and understanding. (Latest interview on Buddha at the Gas Pump: Bob Harwood)

 

I can’t say that I know Bob Harwood, but his photo looked nice and “credible”. I love his “spiritual resume”, and I am sure all of us can identify with 2 out of the 3 stages of Awakening: the quest and the partial breakthrough where some our questions are answered and were we find ourselves oscillating between a sense of selfhood and no-self, as Bob Harwood puts it so eloquently. Yet these Interviews at the Gas Pumps are written for the spiritual intellect, and this particular one appeals to us because it suggests that if we only continue for so many more years our spiritual practice than we too will be like Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti or Bob, without a self, without any problems and finally happy. I am not saying that this view has to be incorrect, I want to point out instead that this perspective overlooks the opportunity to be connected to the higher energies here and now. When we are connected, it never occurs to us to consider some beautiful scenario in the future because we are fulfilled in the present one. Thoughts simply do not arise. 

 

It’s this blessed moment that is at our disposal, always. I would say to anyone who has awakened to the higher prevailing energies that this is already it. So what if there are a few stumbles, a few missed opportunities? When the voice in the head starts complaining, just reconnect and the blessed moment is bound to reappear. Our intellect doesn’t like that perspective very much, after all, we are still occasionally cycling and beat ourselves up over it, but that’s how spiritual life can be experienced. When the blessed moment shows up everything is forgotten and forgiven.