She’s got a ticket to ride, but she doesn’t care

 Free from desire, 

you realize the mystery.

Caught in desire, 

you only see the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations 

arise from the same Source.

Tao Te Ching 

 

A “thought-feeling-energy” pops to the surface and the commentary goes, “Yes, my finances benefit from the latest Federal Reserve Bank announcement, but what do you want me to do with it?” No response, it was just another feel-good personality hack and soon shall be followed by a negative commentary. I go down the stairs and another “thought-feeling-energy” pops up and the insight goes, “Yes, the bird feeder needs refilling. Yuck, I hate going out when it is so cold!” 

 

What is going on here? The crux of being free is the realization when our self identifies with something or someone and starts clinging to it and being able to step out of that energy field. The simple message of spirituality is to notice the train of thought arriving and realizing that only “you” can jump on it. Notice this moment when the train is departing and step away from it, not because you have willpower, not because you have read about it in a book, but because the realization hits that this train goes from now here to nowhere.

 

Lao Tzu reminds in the quote that the higher energies create the outcome independent on whether we are induced into participating only thinking we did this by ourselves, or act as part of this higher creative force as a free “no-body”. The 13^th century German monk Meister Eckhart shares the same observation in these words:

 

“Don’t worry if God works 

through your nature or above your nature,

because both are God’s, nature and Grace.”

 

Creation always gets what is meant to happen with or without you, but the outcome will be way more magical if it happens with “you” missing in action. Some trains are easy to miss, like the little Federal Reserve Bank observation in the example above. I worked in the financial industry long enough to no longer jump on those rides. I also have been blessed with a financial security so that I no longer identify with these market ups and downs. That personal dimension of finance and security I have been able to get my arms around. Our worth cannot be measured by a dollar amount that appears on the financial statement. I feel this in my bones, yet, when the birds need food in the winter, or the plants need watering I act because that’s what sensitivity to the here and now demands in my little world.

 

It’s easy to be free in some areas of of our life, but it is way harder in others. Even after Awakening for most there are still some big growth opportunities that do not come easy. We have to work just as hard as any other to break free from the manifestation. For some reason or another, whether it is personality related, based on our upbringing or perhaps even a past lifetime event, we are clinging to certain people and certain events and cannot figure out why. Perhaps even worse, we may know about our vulnerability but still fall into the trap again and again. We are caught in desire, and we only see the manifestation. What do we do then? 

 

Consider this example. She is a fairly advanced spiritual soul, yet she discovered an Achilles Heel. Even though she is married, she keeps attracting guys who stick to her. The first one was pretty impressive. She considered starting a relationship with him but eventually realizes the impracticality of it and broke it off. She thought her love triangle problem was solved but then another guy showed up. If anything, compared to him the first one was an angel but still, that guy sticked to her like glue. Once again, she breaks the connection with a lot of willpower only to find that another guy showed up who is an even more questionable character. What’s going on here?

 

Actually, the solution to the problem turns out to be fairly simple. When she finally digs deep within, she finds a core craving within fearing “I am not loved!” The moment she reached that scary depth, sat with it, faced her fear and discovered the abundant love within, the problem was solved from one day to the next. Meeting our self in the depth of our being is a really important part in the spiritual quest. I am surprised that not more spiritual teachers talk about this point. Everyone always insists how we are serenity, love and empowerment, but they fail to mention that it is often life’s problems, interferences and conflicts that get us to this moment of facing ourselves in the depth of our being. Awakening doesn’t insulate us from life’s challenges. The way to the here and now is often right through them.

 

It’s easier to grasp other people’s issues than our own. I always felt loved on the deepest level. I may have had shaky knees on occasions but mostly always managed to come back to this core knowing. My struggle has been a different one that only got accentuated when I embarked on my spiritual quest. At the core I always wanted to be somebody, a PhD in economics, a macro expert in the financial industry figuring the world out, and more recently, a published author on spirituality. Do you see the irony that is as soul-wrenching as my friend’s romantic struggles? On the deepest level I crave to be somebody, while in a spiritual dimension mastery requires being a “no-body”. How does one step out of this paradox?

 

Actually, meeting our self on the deepest level is always the same. We sit with the inner conflicts until the core craving “I want to be somebody!” is faced. We remain with this tension until it dissolves. Resolving it will because beneath this scary deep level of missing trust there is an even deeper one, the knowledge that we are serenity, love and empowerment. Sure, there may still be day to day struggles. I can spot the craving to quote myself, I can feel the desire that people follow my work, or the itch to speak up in a meeting when it is a good time to listen instead. Once a core fear or craving is spotted and we sit with it, embrace it lovingly, and learn to let go of it, the war is won, even though a few battles may still arise on a day to day basis. The “thought-feeling-energy” may still pop up, but no compulsion forces us to jump on the train any longer.

 

The entire spiritual quest is contained in Lao Tzu’s and Meister Eckhart’s observations. We are the entity who has a ticket to ride, and we are the entity that is empowered to choose which action to follow and which one to sit out. The question of enlightenment is academic in the here and now. Do we realize the mystery, or do we see the manifestation? Is our conditioned nature at work or do we spot the higher energies at work and become part of it? The seasoned spiritual traveler has a ticket to ride but she doesn’t care.