I am not powerless

 I remember once reading a one-page article in the New York Time of someone who declared his attention to break his alcohol addiction all by himself. He wanted to accomplish this feat without help from the AA program. When he read the 12-Step AA principles, he got put off when he read the admission “we are powerless”. “I am not powerless”, he declared, and tried to wean himself off this toxic stuff by willpower alone.

 

Addiction is an important subject for many of us. So, devoting an entire NYT-page page seems appropriate. I only didn’t understand why the intention to break an addiction deserves so much attention. Many have tried and many have failed. Wouldn’t it have been better to report the experiences of a veteran instead. There are stoics who manage to drop an addiction from one day to the next without help and they certainly deserve our admiration. 

 

There is little difference between the determination to break a compulsive habit and the decision to become successful, or to perform any other form of self-improvement. In each case there is a voice that whispers in our ear, “you can do better than this,” or, “this serves you better!” There is nothing wrong with knowing who we are on the deepest level, but the problem is that the voice spurning us on is the troublemaker who got us into the mess.

 

Spirituality 1.0 is the feat of deciding to become a “better you” and doing something about it. Spirituality 2.0 is understanding that this “you” who needs reforming is an illusion. There is no wrong or right with any perspective. Still, maybe telling an addict that this self is illusionary isn’t the best strategy for success, but then, addiction has started many spiritual quests; I was surprised that on a recent retreat half of us admitted past struggles.

 

As far as the 12-Step program is concerned, working with likeminded on breaking free from an addiction or a compulsion is spiritual, declaring after years of abstinence that one is an addict is not. The words “I Am” are holy and shouldn’t be followed by any attributes, and certainly not an expression of weakness. I always say to everyone, try to manifest this “better self” vision, just understand that you are playing a game with yourself. 

 

You are That! Holy, whole, free, compassionate and loving. You don’t see it yet? Discover the programs at work as you work towards a “better self” and recognize the forces that apparently keep you from reaching your goals. “I Am That I Am” is all there is. We were just too self-absorbed to realize this fact of life before, but now is as good a time as any to let go of all programs and enjoy the higher energies at work. You are That! Enjoy!