Family Energy—the work ends with me

 I had shared in an earlier post how hard the family energy seminar Suzhen Liu and Suzanne Yang lead has been for me when my father’s energy got addressed. This continued in the second session as well, if anything, it got stronger. The image of my father sitting on his chair, saying nothing and doing nothing other than playing chess had burnt itself into my memory and I took this snapshot for granted. What I felt this week was his fear of being marginalized. I am nine years older than my brother and seven years older than my sister. They don’t remember as I do when my father was in his prime, how he jumped into the cold North Sea while most others wore sweaters, how he beat me in chess blindfolded, and how commanding he was in his position as a family judge. After the session I felt his fear of being marginalized and it was scary.

 

This week our youngest called and said that he felt down even though he got top marks in the mid-term at his university. It’s not hard to see what he is doing. Caught between the energies of his mother who is striving for success and my searching for meaning he subconsciously tries to heal the family energy by being the best academically and drives himself crazy in the process. Naturally, both his mother and I told him that everything is perfect as is and he should just relax, but the subconscious has its own agenda. I am told by doing the work we heal the energies of our loved ones as well, and that’s what I am doing currently. I sit with the fears and the depression that came up and consciously look for ways to address and let go of them. The insight, “you have to feel it to heal it” is spot on. The work ends with me. Let the children conquer their own soul mission.