There must be a reason why children demonstrate rebellious behaviors. The real reason is not that the parents hit them. Hitting is the consequence of anger. Parents must have held some belief sets about their children, for example, the father may feel that the kids are a burden. If the father feels this way, then the kids will subconsciously act on this feeling and react accordingly. Some kids will rebel, and some will slack off and lose their purpose in life. So, the father’s belief has become self-fulfilling in the end. Yes, the kids are a burden to him, and yes, they also make trouble, so the father is naturally angry, but in reality, it was his belief system to start with that made the kids act up.
Because the kids don’t feel accepted, it is hard for them to succeed. They rebel and have many other adverse reactions. Because the father is feeling stressed about life, he may feel that this kid is bringing more burden to him. Whenever the father has this belief set, he will look at the child this way, and the kid doesn't feel accepted and is therefore bound to rebel. Once children misbehave, the father will feel that they only add to his stress, so he is even more furious. So, on the surface it seems that the anger of the father makes the kids rebel, but the real reason is that the father never really accepted the child.
Belief sets not only influence yourself, when you carry this belief set around and interact with family, it will influence the family dynamics and future generations. Whenever parents feel stressed and they receive very little support, whenever you feel this way, as a parent or a child, it’s time to study underlying belief systems and upgrade yourself.
Suzhen Liu
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