The Power of Self-Awareness and Presence

If we pay attention, we will discover that there are repetitive patterns within our suffering. Something happens, we react, emotions arise—anger, hurt, frustration, confrontation—and beneath all of these reactions lies a belief system.

 

Since the same patterns keep repeating, can we begin to ask whether there is a deeper meaning behind them? What are these recurring pains trying to teach us?

 

We all long for a beautiful and happy life, yet reality is often different from what we expect. When we encounter resistance and difficulties, we immediately want to resolve them. If we cannot, we feel trapped, worried, and tormented. Some people cannot sleep at night because their minds keep cycling through the same thoughts. Wherever they go, they still feel stuck, unable to break free.

 

Can we become aware of what is happening in these moments? Whether we try to move east or west, we are still attempting to solve the same issue. But are these thoughts truly real? Or are they projections created by the mind? Are they limited by our past experiences and conditioning? Where can this way of thinking ultimately lead us? If we continue responding in the same way, will we not keep repeating the same pain again and again?

 

At this moment, the most important thing is self-awareness.

The moment we become obsessed with solving the issue, we often fall deeper into the trap of the issue itself and into the same repetitive pattern. That is why the same reactions, emotions, beliefs, and wounds continue to arise. Naturally, we cannot transcend what we keep unconsciously repeating.

 

When we stop falling into the same mental patterns, the next step is to face our pain directly. This is one of the most difficult parts of inner growth, because when pain arises, our instinct is usually to run away from it. Yet escaping only brings us back into the same cycle again.

 

This is why willingness is so important.

 

It is like when a couple says, “I do” during a wedding ceremony. No matter what happens, they choose not to leave. In the same way, when we are willing to stay present with our pain, we begin to observe the places where we feel stuck, the places we cannot move through, and the parts of ourselves we cannot yet accept.

 

Why is there struggle in relationships? For example, we may want someone to place us first and love us wholeheartedly. When these expectations are not fulfilled, strong emotions arise. But beneath those emotions, is there a deeper pain—the inability to accept the feeling of “not being loved”? If so, can we remain present with that feeling instead of running away from it?

Or perhaps we constantly push ourselves to succeed. What belief lies beneath that pressure? Could it be that we cannot accept failure or disappointment? If so, can we stay present with the feeling of failure itself?

 

What does it mean to be present?

 

It means that when resistance, rejection, or discomfort arises, we do not immediately escape or react. Instead, we observe the thoughts behind the resistance and wholeheartedly remain with what we are experiencing.

 

When we are truly present, a sense of peace begins to emerge. A deep silence appears within us. And from this silence, wisdom—and even love—can arise naturally.

 

So when we face the pain we cannot transcend, accept, or move beyond, the power of simply being present with it is immeasurable.

 

Everything that happens will eventually pass. Is it not true that worry, happiness, ease, and discomfort all come and go? Our worries will also pass. The deeper issue lies in our beliefs, our consciousness, our patterns of thinking, and our habitual reactions.

 

Life will continue to bring experiences to us. But if we do not transform ourselves inwardly, we will continue falling into the same cycles of suffering again and again.

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her latest book, “Discover Love Within—Release your suffering,” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732

 

Let life play its song

 I woke up this morning from a dream where I had to prove myself in a work setting doing some data analysis. I laughed heartedly as I realized no one but myself forces me to replay this tune. When we realize what the inner interference is, we can let go of it just as with a broken record we can lift the needle to the next groove and the problem is gone. 

Sex, and our search for a perfect partner is not the problem. The spiritual interference only comes when we use the body or someone else to cover up our insecurities or inability to face our restlessness and loneliness. That’s when the life song gets stuck and replays until we face the inner void that causes the repetition.

Same with our aspirations for self expression. Going after our dreams or striving for professional goals doesn’t have to be the problem. The issue is covering up the inner feeling of not being enough and replacing it with the aspiration to be someone else or to be somewhere else. The record is broken even if we get what we set out to do.

We cannot break free from self by ourselves, but we can be mindful when life becomes a broken record. Life mirrors who we think we are. Let’s look again when we project into the outer as we avoid facing the inner. Life sings a beautiful song when we get the self out of the Way. The amazing thing is that there is nothing else to do. Let life play its song.

The Power of Willingness

 In relationships, sometimes we are unable to untie certain knots with another person — perhaps a family member or a partner. These memories, wounds, and karmic entanglements can deeply influence our destiny.

 

For example, in order to gain recognition from someone, we may endlessly demand, sacrifice, or give too much of ourselves. Beneath these actions often lies a longing for love, acceptance, or acknowledgment. When the other person fails to see our efforts, we may feel hurt, mistreated, or angry. Over time, this can form a deep emotional entanglement.

 

When these entanglements become too deep and complicated, it becomes difficult to distinguish cause from effect. What remains is often unwillingness and imbalance. We begin to place high expectations on one another, while our tolerance grows weaker. For instance, we may do something while secretly watching how the other person responds. If their response does not meet our expectations, resentment grows, and we begin to feel that they owe us an apology.

 

This is why it is so important to stop the habitual reactions of the mind. If we remain trapped in thoughts about how others should or should not behave, we will stay entangled forever.

 

For many years, I have spoken about the importance of “willingness.” When even one person becomes willing to let go, the resentment held by the other can also begin to loosen. We cannot demand that others stop resenting us or suddenly treat us well, but we can learn not to remain trapped in these painful states ourselves.

 

If you are unwilling, no one can save you. If your heart and consciousness remain unwilling — clinging to blame and believing others are the source of your suffering — then you will continue to stay trapped in that suffering. Real transformation begins with willingness: the willingness to see, to let go, and to step out of the cycle of resentment.

 

By Suzhen Liu

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her latest book, “Discover Love Within—Release your suffering,” available on Amazon.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732

The silent witness is the holy grail of spirituality

 Most of us live a life of restraint, control, suppression, and so on. When you say, 'I must control myself, my anger, my jealousy, my laziness, my indolence' and so on, who is the controller? Is the controller different from that which he controls? Or are they both the same? The controller is the controlled. So as long as there is a controller he is exercising his capacity to control. And we are saying the controller is the essence of desire. And he is trying to control his activities, his thoughts, his wishes, and so on. So realising all that, can one live a life which is not promiscuous, which is not doing what you like, but a life without any form of control. 

J Krishnamurti, in Essence of JK, extracts, Vinod Mittal

The observer role is crucial in the spiritual breakthrough. It’s like looking through a window pane onto life, without trying to be stoic, detached, spiritual, etc. It’s not a conscious trying to achieve something but a passive falling into a natural state of being. Mistakes are possible because the ego is clever and we may once again convince ourselves that we are the observer whereas observing is with no person around to do anything. Continued mischief is impossible though because our agenda can be spotted sooner or later. We will also spot the mistaken role of a “light-worker” who means well but does what he does because he has an image to defend. 

The silent witness is the holy grail of spirituality. No lifelong quest to find it is required. It’s right where we are in the present moment. 

#spirituality #witness #observer #jkrishnamurti #awakening 

Look into the root of desire

 Because I have pain, desire arises from it. Then that desire, in turn, deepens and intensifies my suffering. So desire does not exist independently; it is also entangled with our sense of “I” and the ego, forming a knot of attachment.

 

At the beginning, our awareness and clarity are not yet able to see so much all at once. That is why we use the Letting Go Method as an initial support—it is a very helpful tool. What we need is to look into our pain, rather than trying to eliminate desire itself. Simply suppressing or trying to delete it is useless.

 

When we truly understand our own suffering and see how desire and pain become intertwined with each other, then within that process, desire naturally fades away.

 

By Suzhen Liu

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her latest book, “Discover Love Within—Release your suffering,” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732

There is no “me” and today is the day to discover it

 The question is not what to do; the question is how to see. The question is not of changing your character, the question is not to become more good, to become more saintly, to be less a sinner – no, that is not the question. The question is: how to see without mind, how to see without choice. The question is not concerned with doing and action, the question is concerned with the quality of awareness. 

Osho

I had the same insight a few weeks ago and communicated it in the video “Feel to heal—see to be.” I added it below if you want to see it. One day it occurred to me that our focus is always on the “right” action instead of realizing that every issue we have is always the product of an inner conflict. Solve the inner conflict and the “right” action emerges naturally. Unless confronted, you will run out of energy independent of what you do because you are fighting yourself. Worst of all, the decision will come back because life’s function is to show us our self-inflicted interferences. The mistake is the notion that one day a reformed “me” will be happy and wealthy and wise. No, the day is today and there is no “me.”

Video of Feel to heal—see to be:

https://youtu.be/gAzfPBL0QUk?is=fDYlQjlZwrulsHWX

Three Layers of Spiritual Cleansing

 We are so used to running away that we often do not realize we are escaping from ourselves. This is why we remain trapped in suffering. Cleansing helps us turn back and face what we have been avoiding.

 

For example, when we practice the Letting Go Method, energy begins to flow. This flow often appears first through emotions rising to the surface. Emotional release is only the outer layer of the cleansing process, but if this surface layer cannot flow, the deeper obstacles hidden underneath will never emerge.

 

Some people are unable to express anger. No matter how much they practice letting go, they remain in a state of “I’m okay.” Even when deeply hurt, they still insist they are fine. In such cases, it is important to pay close attention to thoughts — attention, attention, attention.

 

Take anger as an example. Yelling, stomping, or scolding may be the first layer of emotional release. But if we only stop there, it is not cleansing; it is merely venting. We will continue to feel angry because we remain stuck at the first stage without understanding it deeply enough. When we fully understand the emotion, the anger itself begins to transform. Our relationships change, and even our expectations toward others become different.

 

Sometimes, after anger comes crying. When we cry, we should remain present and observe the content behind the tears. For example, a thought may arise: “I’ve done so much for you, yet you treat me this way.” Beneath this is the feeling of being wronged. Another thought may be: “I waited for you for so long, but you still ignored me.” This reveals the pain of being neglected. Or perhaps the thought is: “What do I need to do for you to love me?” This reveals a deep longing to be loved.

 

Imagine the process clearly: the first emotion is anger; the second layer is the hidden content beneath the crying. “I’ve done so much — why can’t you love me?” At the core of this is the feeling of not being loved. Why does someone long to be loved? Because deep inside, they already feel unloved and neglected. There is an injury underneath.

 

Each person’s injuries are different, but the longing to be loved is universal. When these injuries surface during cleansing, we can use the Letting Go Method to help them flow. Beneath every thought, there is an injury. At first, these injuries may not surface easily, but through practice, they gradually emerge. When they do, we must stay with them, observe them, and care for them.

 

As we remain present with an injury, it can begin to pass through us like clouds moving across the sky. This is the second layer of cleansing. Whenever an injury or obstacle surfaces, the emotions connected to it will also arise. Thoughts, excuses, and stories will appear as well. At this moment, mindfulness is essential. We must become aware whenever thoughts arise. Cleansing requires energy, clarity, and awareness.

 

The third layer is the karma and consequences hidden beneath the injury.

 

Take the longing to be loved as an example. Because we desperately want love, we may begin demanding it from others. Yet in doing so, do we hurt them? If we hurt others, will they truly love us, or will they withdraw from us? They may temporarily comfort us, but because they also carry their own habits, wounds, and defenses, the cycle of hurt soon repeats itself.

This is how people unknowingly hurt each other in relationships.

The third layer of karma includes both personal karma and family karma. When we can truly see this layer, life becomes much lighter and more peaceful.

 

Returning again to the second layer: beneath every injury are thoughts and beliefs. We become bound by them. The pain of our injuries gives birth to beliefs, and then we are unconsciously carried away by those beliefs.

 

To stay present with an injury does not mean endlessly digging into the past. It means observing the emotions and beliefs connected to it. For example, someone may feel wronged and think: “I cook for your whole family. I wash everyone’s clothes.” Beneath this pain is often an unconscious belief such as: “I must be a good daughter-in-law.” If this belief is not seen clearly, the injury remains, and the relationship pattern cannot change.

 

Consider another example: a child grows up watching their parents constantly fight. During those moments, the parents are so consumed by conflict that they fail to care for the child — perhaps even neglecting basic needs like meals. The child may end up eating instant noodles alone for dinner. From this experience, the feeling of being neglected is formed.

 

“I am neglected” becomes the injury.

Then beliefs are born from this injury:

“I am not good enough.”

“I am not worthy.”

“I need to please others.”

“I want to be seen.”

 

As a result, sometimes we try hard to please others. Sometimes we overwork ourselves to gain recognition. Other times we withdraw because we feel inadequate or unworthy. These patterns rotate continuously throughout daily life.

At the core of many wounds are the beliefs:

“I am not loved.”

“I am not worthy.”

 

Over time, these beliefs lead us to isolate ourselves. An invisible wall forms between us and others. No matter how kindly others treat us, the wall remains. Even when we love others, we still love them from behind that wall. Because we have unconsciously closed our hearts, others cannot truly enter — and we ourselves cannot fully reach out. This creates deep loneliness.

 

Our beliefs are born from our injuries, and these beliefs shape our lives and relationships.

 

True cleansing is the ability to see the consciousness that sustains suffering. This requires sharp observation and awareness. Once we learn how to cleanse our injuries, we can gradually release the wounds hidden within our relationships. The moment we fully see the content of an obstacle with awareness, it naturally begins to dissolve on its own.

 

By Suzhen Liu

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her latest book, “Discover Love Within—Release your suffering,” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732