Observe Your Interpretation

 Different people react differently to the same event. The emotions that arise in each individual depend not on the event itself, but on how the situation is interpreted. Imagine a primary school student telling his parents that he has a school outing and asking them to prepare snacks. The parents forget and do nothing. How might the child feel? He may feel angry, upset, sad, lost, or confused. He might complain, hesitate about whether he should still go, or feel embarrassed. Beneath these reactions could be deeper feelings: being neglected, undervalued, unimportant, unloved, or filled with self-pity.

 

These emotions do not simply pass—they can expand and influence future relationships. How does a person react when he feels unloved and unimportant? Even if this experience happened long ago in childhood, its influence can remain, shaping the same reaction patterns again and again. What is the issue here? The root cause lies in how the situation was interpreted.

 

For a young child, the world is very small, and a single event can feel enormous. No matter how old he becomes, this inner child may remain frozen in that moment, reacting with the same attitude and repeating the same patterns. Every repetition reinforces the inner experience of “I am not important” and “I am not loved.” The more this pattern repeats, the harder it becomes to see clearly, because the heart becomes bruised and guarded.

 

In daily life, many situations trigger us, and we become entangled without realizing whether it is the event itself or our interpretation that is influencing our reaction. This is why clarity is essential. We need to distinguish between what actually happened and the meaning we attached to it.

 

Without this clarity, our reactions stay rooted in the past. We become unable to build real, present relationships with the people around us, continually falling back into the pattern of “not being loved” and “not being important.” Yet in reality, it is often we ourselves who are unconsciously pushing others away.

 

By Suzhen Liu

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732

Becoming aware of conditioned mind

 We cannot fight who we are,

but we can become aware 

of who we think we are!

I went to a Gurdjieff meeting in Cambridge, MA and the organizers gave a simple challenge: be mindful of the chair you are sitting on and the sole on your foot. The meeting commenced and everyone shared their spiritual experiences and what has led them to the Gurdjieff group in particular. One person in particular loved talking and in-between the organizer shouted at him, “feet,” to which he replied, “yes, I feel them too,” which seemed to be a lie. Eventually the organizer just told him to please give someone else the opportunity to talk and the room fell quiet. 

I found this exercise quite helpful. It does not connect us to who we are deep down inside, but it makes us aware of the interference—the personal energy that fights for liberation from personhood. It may be perceived as a noble cause, but it will also lead to nowhere. Francis Lucille postulates, “You cannot become what you already are. You can only stop pretending to be what you are not.” This “via negativa” approach is really important. Each and every moment we can either spot the Light, or notice when who we think we are is blocking the Light from coming in.

To Clean is to See

 When we feel deeply lost, cleaning can help us return to a clear mind. The purpose of cleaning is not to get rid of our problem—nor to change how others treat us—the key is to see that everything happening in our lives follows a self-fulfilling pattern, and through seeing, we come back to clarity.

 

Cleaning is about seeing our obstacles, not eliminating them. When we can see our obstacles, we are no longer lost. Because once we see them, we recognize that they are our own inner issues, and we understand that the work must be done within.

 

If we cannot see this, we remain lost and keep searching outside ourselves—looking for a better teacher, a more famous master, a more powerful guru, or the highest dharma. Yet no one can transcend our obstacles for us. No one knows what we are thinking from moment to moment. Only we know, and only we can do this work for ourselves. If we do not understand this, we will continue to seek answers outside.

 

Before a clear mind can arise, there is one essential condition: we must be willing to face ourselves. Some people are not willing. Whenever they encounter their obstacles, they interpret them as proof that they are not good enough or not perfect, and they want to escape these feelings rather than face their own pain.

 

It takes great dedication and sincerity to keep diving inward, day and night, to see our obstacles. When we continuously pay attention to ourselves, clarity naturally emerges. Let me share an example from a student:

 

“I used to complain that my husband came home late after work. To make him come home earlier, I tried every possible way—even offering to pick him up. In the end, I was exhausted, and nothing changed.

 

One day, during meditation, I looked deeply into why I was so obsessed with what time he came home. To my surprise, I discovered that in my heart, I didn’t actually want him to come home early. I was afraid that if he did, he might look for trouble with me.

 

When I was seventeen, I once went out with friends. My boyfriend at the time got drunk and jealous, got into a fight, and hurt his thumb. Later in my life, my ex-husband got drunk and put a knife to my neck. On a subconscious level, I carried a fear that drunken people would hurt me, and I projected this unresolved pain onto my husband.

 

Through practicing letting go and staying present with these old injuries, the inner knots gradually loosened. After I faced them, saw them clearly, and understood their roots, my fear dissolved. I no longer worried about my husband coming home drunk. Naturally, he began coming home on time, and he also stopped drinking so much.”

 

When issues arise and we are willing to face them, harmony emerges in our lives and relationships. When relationships become harmonious, stability and wisdom naturally follow.

 

By Suzhen Liu

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732

Surrender: when four become One (video)

 Sadhguru tells a beautiful story of four practitioners of meditation, energy yoga, love and the flow are forced to merge into One by surrendering to the elements. Practice the favorite spiritual technique as you see fit but understand that the last step is an act of surrendering and grasping that everything we ever wanted is here and now.

https://youtu.be/zP8NEUC8v8k?si=RqTlvm4fVPkyajoT

A Clear Mind

 I observe that there are two kinds of people when they encounter difficulties. One is the lost person. When facing hardship, they do not know how to process what is happening or how to move forward. A clear trait of this state is blame “It’s all your fault.” “Why do you treat me like this?” “You hurt me—this is your issue.” “If only you treated me better, I would be happy.” “If you earned more, I could have a better life.” This is how a lost person reacts. When difficulty arises, their first impulse is to escape. They experience much pain and suffering, and eventually they give up, unwilling to take responsibility.

 

It is important to recognize the state of being lost. When we are lost, we spend our energy trying to change others, seeking recognition and validation. In the end, we fail and exhaust our life force, because we have been walking in the wrong direction from the very beginning.

 

Returning to the earlier example of the mother and daughter—what is the root cause of their suffering? Is it not their interpretations, thoughts, expectations, beliefs, and wishes that create a self-fulfilling world? From pain, we create problems.

 

If we do not attempt to understand our pain from within, we cannot be liberated from suffering.

The second type of person is one with clarity. When an issue arises, they turn back toward themselves, because they understand there is only one true direction—the mind. As we learn, it is the mind that determines the path we take.

 

Most of our emotions and behaviors function under the influence of collective karma. These patterns may come from our mother’s suffering, or from our grandparents. Once influenced, we repeat the same patterns, relive the same destinies, and slowly become lost, eventually losing hope. This is why we must look inward—not at what the external world gives us, but at what is happening inside. In this inward journey, courage and passion naturally emerge.

 

It is not easy to live with clarity, because we are surrounded by lost people. We are influenced by our parents, our spouse, and our friends. Once influenced, our reactions fall into repetitive patterns. This is why awareness of the mind is essential. Only through awareness can we free ourselves from becoming lost.

 

Even so, freeing ourselves from these influences is not easy. In moments like this, it becomes especially important to cleanse and realign ourselves.

 

By Suzhen Liu

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

 https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732

Planting the acorn

 The acorn theory was proposed by James Hillman, suggesting each of us has a calling we need to fulfill. Turn towards what needs to get done, and turn away from what wastes your talents, and let life do the rest.

Just like an acorn already contains a massive tree—absent of the 100 years it takes to bring it to fruition, we already carry abundance inside. God takes care of Her creations, all we have to do is to realize our perfection.

Thorough Self-Understanding

 A mother hurts her daughter because of her expectations. She wishes her daughter to be capable. Beneath these expectations lies fear—fear that her daughter is not good enough, and fear that she herself is not a good mother.

 

When the daughter is hurt, she feels abandoned and unrecognized. Beneath these feelings is a fear of not being loved.

 

The mother suffers because of her fear, and the daughter suffers because of her fear. They are suffering from the same fear. The mother expresses her fear by hurting her daughter; the daughter expresses her fear through feelings of abandonment and unlovability after being hurt. Although their expressions look different, the root is the same. These seemingly different fears are, in essence, one. This is why we can call it collective karma.

 

It appears that the mother and daughter are confronting each other, but in reality, the source of their reactions and emotions is the same. Learning to be present with different situations allows us to see that the pain of the mother and the pain of the daughter are not separate. There is no true difference. When this can be seen, the possibility arises for them to bridge the gap between them, and only then can their relationship begin to change.

 

When one can see this clearly, we can say there is thorough self-understanding. With thorough self-understanding, it becomes possible to understand others as well. When the daughter understands her own pain and her fear of abandonment, she can also understand her mother’s pain, expectations, and fears. She can meet those parts of her mother with understanding.

 

When you have access to self-understanding, it brings tremendous energy. It is a state in which the mind expands. This same understanding can be applied when practicing letting go, or within interpersonal relationships. The reason is the same.

By Suzhen Liu

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732