Resting in Pain, and Finding Love in the End

 Student

 It has been quite some time now. When we talk, we avoid making eye-contact. When he speaks, I look away, because the moment I see him, waves of negative emotions rise. I know I’m ill-tempered —impatient, sharp with my words—yet I feel trapped inside these emotions and am unable to let go.

 

Suzhen Liu

In every relationship where we suffer the most,

there is a vast freedom waiting quietly behind it.

But we keep circling in two directions—

trying to erase the pain or trying to run away from it.

And because of this, we cannot move forward.

 

The person or situation in your family

that brings the deepest hurt, anger, worry, or exhaustion

is precisely where your freedom lies.

 

Behind every painful relationship

lives a great and hidden love.

When we can truly recognize this love,

a new freedom opens, and joy naturally follows.

 

Only then can we truly influence others—

not by effort,

but through the quiet transformation of our own being.

Because once we understand the essence of love,

once we have tasted that inner state,

wisdom begins to arrive on its own.

 

We all feel our suffering is enormous,

but at the root, there is only one fear:

the fear of facing our pain,

the fear of resting within it.

 

If we can learn to stay,

to gently remain with what hurts,

we begin to discover the most sacred part of life—

the spaciousness, the time,

and the love that already exists within us.

 

These qualities give rise to true wisdom.

They are not learned in school,

nor taught by anyone outside of us.

They come only from resting in our pain

and listening to its energy.

 

When we choose not to escape it,

not to destroy it,

but simply to be with it,

we start to sense the love that has always lived in our heart.

 

Every one of us carries this love.

Even in the most tangled, painful relationships—

it is still there.

 

By Suzhen Liu

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her latest book, “Discover Love Within— Release Your Suffering,” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering-ebook/dp/B0G4L29MVN

Dissolution of the illusion

 Everything that we experience daily—rain or shine—is designed to help us awaken to a state of being prior to identity, history and thought. Humanity in its current form has been around for a few millennia yet few of us have managed to break free from this identification with body, mind and world, so what can be done in order to get to this state?

Actually, knowing that “life as is” has the purpose to help us awaken from the self identification with body, mind and world is already a big step towards the dissolution of the illusion because most of us still actively strengthen that bondage. Every memory, every aspiration, every aversion—even if it appears to be worthwhile—is a strengthening of self. Modern wo(man) cannot break free from this illusion because everyone is still going after something—while subconsciously running away from something else—even if the goal is as noble as reaching enlightenment.

Is there something more specific “you” can do? Be aware when the outside events trigger a memory, aversion, desire or reaction and ask who experiences it. Soon “you” realize that the same neurological processes are self-generated on the inside. Actually it is the other way around. The “self” identification is generated by these conditioned neurological processes. Just as with outside events, we can break free from the automatization on the inside as well when inquiring, who has these thoughts and feelings as they materialize. When the neurological synapses snap and the conditioned thought-feeling energy fades, S-E-L-F prevails:

S (ilence)

E (nergy)

L (ove)

F (low) as mirrored in life as is on the outside.

Michelangelo’s angel already existed. He just had to remove the debris from the marble. Likewise, in being stewardship is present. Life as is completes the masterwork.

Observing, Understanding and Letting Go Happen Naturally

 When we begin to see the inner obstacles, we have not yet moved through,

we may even find gratitude for the person who brought us this trouble.

Without that disturbance,

we would not be pushed to learn.

 

There are parts of our conditioning

that need a spark of stimulation—

and that spark is what moves us forward.

In the beginning, our inertia is strong.

So, life uses certain people and situations

to nudge us, to awaken us.

This becomes a gentle force

that guides our growth.

 

We release the person who obstructed us,

the one who stirred our worries,

or the event that seemed to cause our pain.

They are simply external conditions.

Through these outer conditions,

we are led inward,

into the true learning.

 

By Suzhen Liu

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her latest book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering-ebook/dp/B0G4L29MVN

 

Life is a portal to the Beyond

 After struggling with jet lag, last night I got up at 2 am, which would have been the former 4 am. 4 am is typically the time I get up and start working but this time my body knew that it was too early. I felt fear, no specific fear of something, but a general feeling of unease. I sat for an hour in silence and noticed how the spiritual energy in my body had moved up to my neck area. It was stuck there. Another hour went by and it had advanced to the crown chakra. That’s the spot when the writing flows, the mind is still and the heart is wide open.

Wu Hsin says we have to go through our self in order to end up before our self. What does that mean? “Before self” is an energy event. It’s a stage where there is neither understanding nor surrendering for the one who needs to understand and surrender (going through self) is not around. The inner and outer energies are perfectly aligned. Personal energy no longer interferes with Universal Energy. What is referred to as self is a conductor for life as is. The distinction between conscious and subconscious is meaningless in being.

How do we go through the self in order to end up before self? Inquire into self within the body, mind, world matrix and let this manifestation bring you the understanding and offer the opportunity for surrendering (letting go). Who knows exactly what happened in these two hours when I sat in silent meditation. The more important realization is that the sole purpose of this body, mind, world matrix is to be that portal that opens us to Universal Energy. We are “before our self” when the time is ripe. Let’s enjoy self inquiry in the meantime! 

The Power of Gratitude

 My older sister left this world in 1992.

She took her own life, yet for many years I refused to face this truth.

 

We were extraordinarily close.

She was ten years older than me, and from the moment I was born, she was the one who held me, fed me, walked with me, and played with me.

In many ways, she raised me.

I loved her deeply and depended on her completely.

 

After she left, I could not even bring myself to think about it.

In truth, I was running away.

 

Only years later, when I finally found the courage to look at this wound directly, the first thing that rose within me was anger.

 

A cry from the deepest part of my being:

“How could you leave me like this?

How could you abandon me and take away the love I relied on?”

 

This anger was not only mine.

It carried the echoes of my family’s ancestral energy—

the emotions passed down through generations.

 

As I continued to stay with this experience, the anger eventually softened, settling into a stillness. But even then, something felt incomplete.

 

So, I sat quietly with my feelings, allowing them to teach me in their own timing.

 

And then, in less than a minute, something extraordinary arose—

gratitude.

A pure, luminous gratitude rising directly from my soul.

 

I felt grateful for the love she had given me.

Grateful for how she had cared for me, protected me, and accompanied me through the beginning of my life. Grateful that my soul had once been met with such sincere devotion.

 

The moment this gratitude appeared, all the anger, all the pain of separation, all the sorrow of being abandoned dissolved instantly, falling away like a wall crumbling to dust.

 

Only then did I truly see:

the power of gratitude is immense.

 

I saw that she had, in truth, loved me deeply.

And when this understanding arose from my heart—not from thought, but from the living truth within me—every layer of suffering lost its strength.

All the grief, all the longing, all the heaviness simply disappeared.

 

What followed was a quiet, sacred feeling—

the knowing that she and I had never been separated.

 

It felt as though she lived in my soul,

in the innermost chamber of my heart.

She had never left.

There was no distance, no ending, no loss.

 

I was astonished:

“How can gratitude hold such miraculous power?”

 

But it does.

It transforms.

It heals.

It reconnects.

 

Over the years, I have come to understand that

a grateful heart naturally dissolves the barriers within our learning and growth.

 

Without gratitude, we remain entangled

in resentment, guilt, and pain—

circling endlessly without finding a way out.

 

Gratitude is a precious opportunity

to connect—with others, with the universe, with the Dao.

 

It is a sacred energy that rises sincerely from within,

lifting our consciousness and expanding our inner world.

It is not repayment.

It is not obligation.

 

Gratitude is a realm of our own being.

It belongs to us.

It is independent of anyone else.

 

By Suzhen Liu

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering-ebook/dp/B0G4L29MVN