We are so used to running away that we often do not realize we are escaping from ourselves. This is why we remain trapped in suffering. Cleansing helps us turn back and face what we have been avoiding.
For example, when we practice the Letting Go Method, energy begins to flow. This flow often appears first through emotions rising to the surface. Emotional release is only the outer layer of the cleansing process, but if this surface layer cannot flow, the deeper obstacles hidden underneath will never emerge.
Some people are unable to express anger. No matter how much they practice letting go, they remain in a state of “I’m okay.” Even when deeply hurt, they still insist they are fine. In such cases, it is important to pay close attention to thoughts — attention, attention, attention.
Take anger as an example. Yelling, stomping, or scolding may be the first layer of emotional release. But if we only stop there, it is not cleansing; it is merely venting. We will continue to feel angry because we remain stuck at the first stage without understanding it deeply enough. When we fully understand the emotion, the anger itself begins to transform. Our relationships change, and even our expectations toward others become different.
Sometimes, after anger comes crying. When we cry, we should remain present and observe the content behind the tears. For example, a thought may arise: “I’ve done so much for you, yet you treat me this way.” Beneath this is the feeling of being wronged. Another thought may be: “I waited for you for so long, but you still ignored me.” This reveals the pain of being neglected. Or perhaps the thought is: “What do I need to do for you to love me?” This reveals a deep longing to be loved.
Imagine the process clearly: the first emotion is anger; the second layer is the hidden content beneath the crying. “I’ve done so much — why can’t you love me?” At the core of this is the feeling of not being loved. Why does someone long to be loved? Because deep inside, they already feel unloved and neglected. There is an injury underneath.
Each person’s injuries are different, but the longing to be loved is universal. When these injuries surface during cleansing, we can use the Letting Go Method to help them flow. Beneath every thought, there is an injury. At first, these injuries may not surface easily, but through practice, they gradually emerge. When they do, we must stay with them, observe them, and care for them.
As we remain present with an injury, it can begin to pass through us like clouds moving across the sky. This is the second layer of cleansing. Whenever an injury or obstacle surfaces, the emotions connected to it will also arise. Thoughts, excuses, and stories will appear as well. At this moment, mindfulness is essential. We must become aware whenever thoughts arise. Cleansing requires energy, clarity, and awareness.
The third layer is the karma and consequences hidden beneath the injury.
Take the longing to be loved as an example. Because we desperately want love, we may begin demanding it from others. Yet in doing so, do we hurt them? If we hurt others, will they truly love us, or will they withdraw from us? They may temporarily comfort us, but because they also carry their own habits, wounds, and defenses, the cycle of hurt soon repeats itself.
This is how people unknowingly hurt each other in relationships.
The third layer of karma includes both personal karma and family karma. When we can truly see this layer, life becomes much lighter and more peaceful.
Returning again to the second layer: beneath every injury are thoughts and beliefs. We become bound by them. The pain of our injuries gives birth to beliefs, and then we are unconsciously carried away by those beliefs.
To stay present with an injury does not mean endlessly digging into the past. It means observing the emotions and beliefs connected to it. For example, someone may feel wronged and think: “I cook for your whole family. I wash everyone’s clothes.” Beneath this pain is often an unconscious belief such as: “I must be a good daughter-in-law.” If this belief is not seen clearly, the injury remains, and the relationship pattern cannot change.
Consider another example: a child grows up watching their parents constantly fight. During those moments, the parents are so consumed by conflict that they fail to care for the child — perhaps even neglecting basic needs like meals. The child may end up eating instant noodles alone for dinner. From this experience, the feeling of being neglected is formed.
“I am neglected” becomes the injury.
Then beliefs are born from this injury:
“I am not good enough.”
“I am not worthy.”
“I need to please others.”
“I want to be seen.”
As a result, sometimes we try hard to please others. Sometimes we overwork ourselves to gain recognition. Other times we withdraw because we feel inadequate or unworthy. These patterns rotate continuously throughout daily life.
At the core of many wounds are the beliefs:
“I am not loved.”
“I am not worthy.”
Over time, these beliefs lead us to isolate ourselves. An invisible wall forms between us and others. No matter how kindly others treat us, the wall remains. Even when we love others, we still love them from behind that wall. Because we have unconsciously closed our hearts, others cannot truly enter — and we ourselves cannot fully reach out. This creates deep loneliness.
Our beliefs are born from our injuries, and these beliefs shape our lives and relationships.
True cleansing is the ability to see the consciousness that sustains suffering. This requires sharp observation and awareness. Once we learn how to cleanse our injuries, we can gradually release the wounds hidden within our relationships. The moment we fully see the content of an obstacle with awareness, it naturally begins to dissolve on its own.
By Suzhen Liu
If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her latest book, “Discover Love Within—Release your suffering,” available on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732
