To truly release our worries and inner conflicts,
we must first see how they are born.
If we do not see their origin,
we cannot loosen their hold.
Otherwise, our understanding remains only a product
of the mind’s imagination—
and imagination changes from moment to moment,
never holding real power.
When the first trace of trouble appears—
when the mind begins to weave stories of pain and confusion—
that is the moment to awaken and observe.
How is suffering created?
How do we keep producing these patterns
and repeating them again and again?
Observation must begin
from what is happening now.
If it does not arise from the living reality of this moment,
it belongs to imagination—
to the shifting pictures within the mind—
not to the truth of the present.
We often mix our memories with the present moment,
entangling the past with what is happening now,
and as we do, the burden grows heavier.
In relationships,
we often argue because we long to feel loved,
seen, and affirmed.
When this does not happen,
we cannot say directly,
“You don’t love me. You don’t see me. You don’t care.”
We cannot say it,
for we are unaware of what we truly need.
Instead, we speak through blame—
“You didn’t do this right.”
“You didn’t say what I wanted.”
“You made me feel bad.”
But if we stay with the moment as it unfolds,
we may begin to see
that behind every reaction
lies a tender wish—
to be seen,
to be accepted,
to be held in love.
Then we can observe another truth:
when we seek to be seen,
a subtle dependence begins to form.
We start to rely on the feeling of being affirmed,
and from this dependency
arises our resistance toward the other.
This observation must continue,
moment by moment—
in your daily life,
in every encounter that brings discomfort,
in every moment when you feel unseen or unloved.
The practice is not to ask,
“How should the other change so I can feel at peace?”
but to ask,
“Why do these feelings arise within me?”
When we see clearly,
the knots begin to loosen on their own.
By Suzhen Liu
