Only Humility Allows Learning

 The moment my father was buried, I understood many things.

 

At that time the burial was done in the traditional way. When the coffin was lowered into the ground, a sudden realization arose within me: all the wealth, all the effort, all the striving in life—this is where it eventually leads.

 

My father had worked hard his entire life. He was a businessman who made a great deal of money. Even in his sixties he was still striving and working tirelessly. He rarely allowed himself to truly rest or enjoy life. Every day was filled with pressure and responsibility. He lived with seriousness and effort.

 

Only two months before his illness did he finally stop working.

 

He had spent his life accumulating so much, yet in the end he was buried just like this.

 

As I stood there, I wondered: during all those years of struggle and achievement, what kind of life had he really lived? There was hardly a day when he was completely relaxed. Day after day he lived under stress.

 

In that moment something inside me suddenly became very clear.

 

If all my effort in life were only for material gain, and in the end it would all come to this, then what would be the true meaning of my efforts?

 

At that time I was only twenty-seven years old. I was still full of ambition. I wanted to make money. I wanted to find a good husband. I wanted wealth, beautiful things, and famous brands.

 

But in that moment, all of those desires collapsed.

 

I realized that if I spent my life exhausting my energy chasing these things, only to arrive at the same ending, then what meaning would such effort really have?

 

It was then that I began to understand something deeply:

 

Every event that happens in our lives can become our greatest teacher.

 

If we are able to learn from the events that happen to us, then even our suffering can lead us toward awakening. In this way, suffering itself becomes a doorway to liberation.

 

What happens in our lives is our teacher.

 

But if we are arrogant and unwilling to be humble, we cannot see the Way. We cannot see that the teacher is already present within the very events we experience.

 

Only Humility Allows Learning

 

What we are learning together is to cultivate a heart that can see the events of our lives as our teachers, and to approach them with humility and reverence.

 

Only when we respect what has happened can we truly learn from it.

 

Knowledge, theories, and concepts may sound impressive, but in moments like these they are completely useless.

 

What truly matters is your realization—your clarity in that very moment.

 

This process is one of the most meaningful journeys in life. Whether we gain wisdom from it depends on our ability to see.

 

True wisdom arises when we can free ourselves from fear. When we are no longer afraid, we can recognize that our teacher is standing right in front of us. Only then can we truly learn.

 

One day, each of us will face death. Because of this, learning to face death is an important part of life.

 

Through it we begin to understand what ending truly means.

 

In fact, the essence of life lies in understanding ending—death itself.

 

When we learn with humility, we begin to discover that every day of our lives already contains lessons about death. Life continuously teaches us about endings—about letting go.

 

This is the path we are learning.

 

Change does not happen instantly just because someone says something profound. Transformation occurs slowly, step by step, according to the depth of our realization.

 

Yet one thing is essential: a humble heart.

 

Humility is not about being humble toward a teacher. It is about being humble toward your own life—toward your problems, your pain, and your struggles.

 

Only those who can face their own lives with humility can truly become free.

 

Learning is not about blindly following another person. That is not real learning.

 

Real learning comes from your willingness to face your own inner pain and fear.

 

If we cannot develop this humility, then freedom is impossible.

 

Because when we remain arrogant—when we try to conquer our pain, resist it, or reject it—we cannot learn from it.

 

And then we miss the opportunity to understand one of the most sacred truths of life:

 

the truth of ending.

 

By Suzhen Liu

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732

Energy flip

 It happened again. That flip in energy that I first experienced in early 2008, and that accompanied on and off since. The mind is quiet and vibrant. Heart-centered energy is pulsating, and somehow magically, the inner energies align with the outer.  Why do we have to spend years fluctuating between two worlds of (imagined) self manifestation and the mystery of 

S (tillness)

E (nergy)

L (ove)

F (low).

I wouldn’t know actually, other than observing that Awakening is a honeymoon period when we receive what we are, but that it is often followed by a little clean-up process when we have to face, understand and let go of what we are not. 

Spirituality 1.0 happens when we get tired looking for happiness in the material world. Spirituality 2.0 occurs with the energy flip, when the heart-energy replaces the preoccupation of our modern part of the brain, the neocortex. 

A friend told me about his big breakthrough. He had been a hard core seeker for years and eventually became so tired that he wanted to commit suicide. God didn’t let this happen. While visiting his family he fainted and when he returned he had an out-of-body experience that lasted weeks. His energy switch was entirely subconscious in nature but all the years of seeking set him up for it.

The point is that everyone eventually makes it to the other side. Everyone who starts following the glimpses of light that point to a world beyond the self-inflicted realities shall be bathing in it when the transition is complete. Until then keep chipping away with the help of mindfulness and devotion. A flip of energy is always but a step away.

“Following” in the Family Energy System

 In family energy systems, there is a commonly observed phenomenon known as “following.”

 

“Following” refers to the situation in which, after one member of a family passes away, another family member often dies not long afterward. This pattern appears in many families, and it has also occurred in my own family.

 

In an earlier article, I mentioned that my father once collapsed and was sent to the intensive care unit. After that incident, his mobility became limited, and he was eventually placed in a nursing home. At the time, I was living in Hong Kong, and my family did not tell me what had happened.

 

Interestingly, during that same period, I myself also experienced difficulties with mobility.

 

Around the same time that my father fell ill, one of my half-sisters suddenly suffered a stroke and was also sent to the intensive care unit. She remained in the hospital for a year before gradually recovering. Another half-sister passed away quietly in her sleep a few months later.

 

In many families, we can observe similar situations: after one family member passes away, another member may follow a few months later.

 

From these phenomena, we can begin to see something important: people who belong to the same family energy system are deeply interconnected and influence one another. However, for most people, this influence is invisible and difficult to understand.

 

In another article about family energy systems, I once used a metaphor: a family is like a pot of soup, and each family member is like an ingredient in that soup. Every ingredient contributes to the overall flavor of the soup, while at the same time each ingredient is also influenced by the soup as a whole.

 

In other words, each of us lives within the energetic field of our family. The joys, sorrows, unresolved pain, and even the destinies within a family often flow among its members and subtly affect one another. Yet most of the time, we are not aware that we are being influenced by these forces.

 

Many people unconsciously carry the emotions, destinies, or suffering of their family members, and may even repeat life patterns that seem difficult to explain.

 

The study of family energy offers us an opportunity to begin seeing these hidden connections. When a person can truly see how the family system operates—when the unseen ties and entanglements that have long remained unrecognized finally come into awareness—a deep sense of understanding and acceptance naturally arises.

 

Through this kind of seeing, many entanglements begin to loosen, and much of the heaviness we carry can gradually be released. In this way, we are no longer simply pushed forward by fate, but can move toward a life that is more conscious, respectful, and truly our own.

 

By Suzanne Yang

 

Stay vigilant, mate

 A friend who is a little bit older said at a recent get-together that he was part of the Berkeley hippie movement of the 60s, “Our mistake was to believe that we were done. It turns out to have to be vigilant for freedom all the time.” 

When he said this I realized that this insight applies to spirituality just as well. Awareness is our birthright, but we have to be self-aware and return to the higher dimension of being again and again. Stay vigilant, mate!

Don’t Project the Pain onto Others

 A student once shared that after attending a family energy workshop, she began to feel a strong sense of resentment. In the past, she was always the one who compromised and tolerated everything. Now, however, she found herself daring to fight back. This change left her feeling confused and helpless.

 

For years, she had repressed her true feelings in order to accommodate others. But when we constantly suppress ourselves to maintain harmony, those unexpressed emotions eventually wound us from within. To please others, we silence our own needs. We believe that by pleasing others, we will receive love in return. And in our minds, “love” simply becomes: when someone treats me well.

 

Often, we suppress ourselves in order to gain something — love, approval, acceptance. But this is a transaction. What do others actually experience in our cooperation? A superficial peace.

 

Why do we tolerate so much? Sometimes it is because we want to appear as a “good person.” We think that if we become good enough, we will earn love. Yet this very pattern slowly undermines authentic relationships.

 

If we look deeply and honestly beneath this tolerance, what do we find? Fear. We are afraid of conflict. We are afraid of rejection. We are afraid of loss. To avoid facing this fear, we cover it with pleasing behavior.

 

Now the real work begins: to face our pain and stay with it.

 

At the deepest level, the fear of loss is an inner wound. But instead of owning this pain, we often tie it to someone else. We project it outward. The moment we do this, pain creates more pain.

 

When we think, “What can he do so I won’t feel afraid?” we hand responsibility for our inner world to the other person. And that guarantees endless suffering.

 

Projection creates opposition. Now it becomes “me versus him.” We start strategizing — how to manage him, how to control the situation, how to protect ourselves. Sometimes we repress. Next time, we try another tactic. This constant cycle of managing and reacting keeps the pain alive and repeating.

 

The only real liberation is to do the opposite: turn inward and face the fear of loss directly.

 

When I no longer project my pain onto the other person but instead stay present with my own fear — keeping my awareness gently anchored there — something begins to shift. The fear transforms.

 

For example, if someone cheats on us, what is the pain we actually feel? Abandonment. Betrayal. Being left alone. If we attach our suffering solely to the other person’s behavior — “How could you do this to me?” — the pain will never end. Our thoughts will keep fueling it.

 

But underneath betrayal and unfairness lies something even deeper: the fear of loss, and the fear of being alone.

 

Isn’t that something we must face within ourselves?

 

If we truly understand and face our feelings of emptiness and aloneness, others’ behaviors will no longer have the power to determine our inner state. Sadness may arise, but it will not overwhelm us.

 

When we learn to stay present with our own pain, our consciousness begins to shift. This transformation naturally influences our children and the people around us. We no longer pass down unconscious patterns; we transmit awareness instead.

 

When we are willing to face pain directly, everything becomes simpler. The complicated strategies dissolve. Our old patterns of suffering loosen one by one — not through force, but through understanding.

And in that space, relationships can become real.

 

By Suzhen Liu

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732