Opening up to the inner emptiness

 When we are very quiet, our obstacles will appear. For example, I am very quiet now, and it emerges that oh he lied to me last month; he said he was going to meet friends, but he didn’t. At this moment I’m getting angry. At this time, I am angry and stop at this anger. I’m just very angry and haven’t transcended it. After this anger, you will think and doubt whether he is like this or that and then you will finally not want him anymore.

 

But then the doubts will return. If I don’t want him and he doesn’t want me, what will happen to me? I will be back here, right? So, what will I do? I will quarrel with him and question him again because I have no other way. So why do relationships keep repeating the same old things? What’s this? It’s because we haven’t upgraded ourselves. We don’t know for entanglements in relationships, we can’t find an answer or solution from the entanglements.

 

Instead, you must reach this emptiness, you must reach this height or this state before you can control your life. Do you understand? I’m not good enough. I failed. Why am I so miserable? Why can’t I get out of it? I feel like I haven’t done well. I can’t meet my parents' standards. I’m not good enough. Then what’s next? What do I feel next? When I think I'm not good enough, I feel my colleagues don't like me, they don't accept and recognize me. My parents don't like me, and my friends look down on me. So, when I think I'm not good enough what do I feel in the end? Emptiness, right?

 

So why can’t you step out of the feeling of not being good enough? Why? Because you haven't reached emptiness. Then when you reach emptiness, the state of not being recognized, respected, loved, or welcomed, and when you feel—wow—empty, it is so terrible and what are you going back to do? Eating, drinking and having fun! Yes, go back to eating, drinking and having fun, or being a workaholic. Then your life is like this, repeating over and over again, just like a clock that strikes from one to twelve. So, in the end, this state can be summed up in two words: doubting life!

 

So, when I have a feeling that no one respects me, no one welcomes me, and I feel that I am not good enough. I feel very painful. Then when you feel the pain of emptiness and loneliness and you run away. Is that right? You escape to eat, drink and have fun. So, you keep repeating, "I am not good enough.” What is the reason? Because we don’t know the emptiness caused by our not being good enough. We don't know what emptiness is at all. So, this feeling of not being good enough will keep repeating. Today when we transcend it later in meditation, our life will be different.

 

This emptiness is really very important.

 

Excerpt from Suzhen Liu’s recent family energy workshop, week 11, Emptiness and Loneliness.  If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732