Spotting the root cause

 When I was teaching the Letting Go Method, one student felt very confused. She said, “I just shared my problem, but instead of telling me what to do, you started talking about the issue beneath the real issue. I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.” I replied, “When you have a question, you must first notice why you are asking that question. It is natural to want a quick solution when a problem arises. But quick solutions can only fix surface problems—they cannot resolve the root cause. We must learn to see the real issue beneath the issue.”

Why was my response hard for her to understand? Because it was not what she wanted. To put it simply, it is like watching yourself being beaten on a screen. You feel uncomfortable, so you keep asking, “What should I do?” Instead of answering directly, I ask you, “Why do you feel uncomfortable?” This is not what you want to hear. You want instructions on what to do, but I am pointing you back to the source of the reaction.

I won’t simply tell you, “Turn off the projector,” because next you will ask, “Where is the projector?” If I tell you it is behind the wall, you will then ask, “Where is the switch?” Eventually, you may even want me to turn it off for you. What you truly want is to get rid of the pain immediately and rely on others to solve it for you. Of course, I could turn it off for you—but if I do, you will gradually become more miserable, because you are not learning how to see through the issue yourself.

Another example: someone once asked me, “I feel sorry toward another person and want to apologize. Should I apologize directly, or should I just repent in my heart?” Instead of giving a direct answer, I asked him, “What is your motivation for asking this question?” He said, “I feel sorry toward the other person, but I don’t dare to apologize directly.”

 

I asked, “How do you feel when you imagine apologizing to him?”

He replied, “I feel as if there is no place for me.”

“Then look at this feeling of ‘no place for me.’ What else do you notice?”

He said, “I’m afraid that if I admit my mistake, he won’t talk to me anymore, and our relationship will be over.”

“So what do you really see here?”

He answered, “I’m afraid that the other person won’t love me.”

 

We can see that fear is hiding underneath and forming the question itself. If we cannot see this fear clearly, we will hesitate to apologize. In fact, the struggle has nothing to do with the apology—it comes from the fear within us. When this fear remains unseen, it will appear repeatedly in our lives, creating hesitation, struggle, and subtle anxiety.

 

The key, then, is to let go of the fear beneath the surface. When we practice the Letting Go Method in this way, many obstacles in life naturally loosen. Each time we encounter a problem, we can let go of the surface thought and move deeper—step by step—until we reach the real issue beneath it all.

 

By Suzhen Liu

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.

 https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Love-Within-Release-Suffering/dp/0999251732