A classmate shared: “When I was little, I fell down the stairs and needed several stitches. My mom went out and bought me a big apple. I remember feeling that this kind of treatment was something I normally never received—it only came when I was sick.
Even now, I sometimes feel that in ordinary days my husband doesn’t really look at me, and my children are all busy. But once I get sick, care and concern seem to come from all directions.
Yet deep inside, I’ve begun reflecting and realizing that this is not truly what I want.”
Can We Obtain Love Through Illness?
From this perspective, we can see that the difficulties we encounter in life may actually reflect something we unconsciously want—we just don’t realize that we ourselves are the originator.
If illness becomes our only sense of security, then it truly is suffering. I don’t think this is love; I think it is control. Even if we gain attention through sickness, there is no real happiness in it, because it must come through physical discomfort and pain.
This way of seeking love simply isn’t worth it. Other people’s care may be spoken, but our pain is real—and sometimes that pain cannot be healed. We end up tormenting ourselves, and what we receive in return is not genuine care.
Another person’s concern, importance, or effort cannot truly bring happiness either. Neither side is genuinely joyful. The only real way forward is for us to elevate ourselves and cultivate genuine happiness.
That kind of happiness feels even more comfortable and fulfilling than being loved, cared for, or noticed. It is more fundamental, because this state arises from our own energy and soul—it does not disappear.
Suzhen Liu
If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering” available on Amazon.
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