End the cycle of frustration

 The Letting Go Method is, at its core, very simple. What makes it distinct from many other methods, healing systems, psychotherapies, or spiritual teachings is that it does not center on reviewing ourselves in order to improve.

 

From an early age, we are taught to reflect on ourselves whenever something goes wrong. If we are unhappy with what we have done, we review it until we reach a conclusion: my effort is not enough; I still need to work on this; I must improve. Once we fall into this cycle of review and improvement, it becomes endless.

 

For example, we may feel that we do not have enough wisdom. To become enlightened, we believe we must try harder. After one review, we decide to recite the sutra more often. After the next review, we increase it again—perhaps to twenty times a day.

 

What happens then? We work tirelessly to improve ourselves, yet the harder we try, the more frustration we feel.

 

And what follows? Because we remain trapped in the mode of review and improvement, every conclusion points to the same thing: we are still not doing enough, so we must work harder. This leads us into another cycle of frustration. If one attempt is not enough, we review and improve; if the next is not enough, we review and improve again. Each round creates another sense of failure.

 

Over time, repeated failures and frustration give rise to powerlessness, worry, depression, and self-blame—bringing even more suffering into our lives.

 

No matter what teaching or discipline we pursue, many systems still encourage this pattern: review, make more effort, and improve. We are told to work harder in the areas where we are lacking. Because this mindset is so deeply normalized, we often do not recognize the problem within it. Whenever we struggle, others encourage us to keep pushing, and unconsciously we become dependent on external guidance and validation.

 

Why is it so difficult to escape this mode? Because it was taught to us by our parents, reinforced by schools, and absorbed into our way of living. It has been imprinted in us: identify the cause, improve yourself, and expect a better result.

 

Yet beneath this process, a belief quietly strengthens: I am not good enough. The more we strive, the stronger this belief can become, and the more self-blame arises. Some people may also gain direction, achievement, or satisfaction from this cycle, and therefore feel uneasy about letting it go.

 

When we feel depressed, in pain, or full of self-blame, we often wish someone would save us. This longing to be saved is also a longing to be loved. Yet these are not separate problems—they are the natural consequences of the cycle itself, created by review, effort, and improvement.

 

Why do we seek love? Why do we want others to rescue us? Because we are burdened by deep depression, self-blame, and pain. In that state, we become desperate for relief. If we cannot see this clearly, we remain trapped in the cycle.

 

The difference with the Letting Go Method is that we begin to see the entire process for ourselves.

 

In Letting Go, instead of pursuing a fixed goal, we remain in a state of clarity, openness, and freedom. The moment we cling to an intention, we create another pattern and become stuck within it. Through practice, we become aware of this intention as it arises.

 

Practicing the Letting Go Method invites us to become calm, relaxed, and willing to surrender. In doing so, we enter a state of “nothingness.” If we can see through this state, we naturally move into happiness and love.

 

This is not something we must acquire—it is an ability we are born with. We fail to recognize it only because we have been entangled in our behaviors, beliefs, and thoughts.

 

Presence is essential. During the practice of Letting Go, whenever depression, defeat, or self-blame appears, we do not fight them. Instead, we observe how they are created. We begin to see clearly where they come from. Once they are fully seen and understood, the accumulated energy behind them dissolves effortlessly.

By Suzhen Liu

 

If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her new book, “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering,” available on Amazon.