Many people insist that their partners should be completely loyal to them. However, these same individuals often encounter infidelity in their relationships and, as a result, suffer deeply.
Can someone truly be loyal to another? Here, I am referring to the mind rather than behavior. It is difficult to control one’s consciousness, as it is easily influenced by countless internal and external factors. Is it possible that we are simply demanding loyalty from others? When we make such demands, can we also turn inward and examine ourselves?
When we discover that someone has been unfaithful, we suffer—not merely because of the infidelity, but because our expectation of loyalty has been shattered. We become attached to this expectation and insist that others fulfill it. This longing for loyalty extends beyond romantic relationships; we may also expect it from friends, coworkers, or even clients. In this way, our desire for loyalty can become an obstacle in many forms of connection.
Can we see that our suffering arises not from others’ infidelity, but from our insistence on loyalty? What is the difference between these two perspectives? Often, there is an image in our minds: if someone has only us in their eyes, we will feel happy and secure. This inner image drives our demand for loyalty. The question, then, is whether we can see through this illusion or continue to expect others to meet it.
No one likes to be forced. When we demand loyalty, the other person may feel pressured, and their natural reaction may be to withdraw. However, when we are able to observe ourselves and refrain from imposing such demands, the other may choose to stay of their own accord. This is simply the natural flow of relationships.
When we transcend our attachments and rise beyond these inner obstacles, not only do we free ourselves from suffering, but others may also feel drawn closer to us. The way energy functions in human relationships is truly remarkable. The key lies in whether we are willing to move beyond our own limitations.
By Suzhen Liu
If you enjoy Suzhen Liu’s writings, please check out her latest book “Discover Love Within—Release Your Suffering,” available on Amazon.
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