Just Say No

These days we have a lot of family over. The ice cream and beer keeps circulating and it suddenly occurred to me one day that I can just say no to both. You feel a little resistance inside yourself when you turn down a cold ice cream or a beer on a hot day, but in the end it is ok; needless to say, your fitness level will thank you for it later.

Dealing with the I can be a similar experience. They say that discovering the True Self is all about dismantling your personality layer by layer until you strike gold inside. Time and endless experiences will do it for you, but if you want to speed up the process a little you can start questioning the demands of the "I" and just see what happens. Just say no to your desires, if you happen to be happier afterwards without it, it was a false desire; but if you find that something is missing from your life, then just keep pursuing your passion. Life and your spiritual path is one great experiment.

Over the last year or so I have run an experiment at work. We are often in meetings where we decide on projects and presentations and the "I" has the natural desire to see my own ideas succeed. I always assert the case I believe in, but I never make it a point to push my case through against the will of others. I just let the group dynamics take over and try to incorporate all other comments on my work as much as possible without distorting my own case. The outcome is always magical. Either the group effort puts my own work in a much better light as I could have done it, or I send my individual work out later and find the timing impeccable after the group presentation. There is only one requirement for this technique, you honestly have to be completely indifferent to the outcome. If you quietly root for your own success by being humble the magic won't work.