Who is Holding You Back?

Below your consciousness there is an infinite ocean of wisdom that you can tap into, but there are also chains of your past, the moral standards of society and your inbuilt rigidities. The story of the subconscious has been told often, but I had nevertheless an eye-opening experience when I was reminded of the movie Shine. In it a brilliant pianist breaks down mentally over his own desire to express his talent which conflicts with his father's insistence not to seek a public profile and to stay home.

On our spiritual path we try to recognize our so called higher self, but if we feel resistance or see signs that we are headed in the wrong direction, how do we know who is holding us back, our true self or our subconscious fears and limitations? I ran a little experiment the other day where I ventured to explore one of my personal taboos (suffice to say that it is embedded in the temptation triangle Power, Gold & Sex). It turned out to be quite an interesting field trip. When I left the building it seemed that it was just starting to pour. As I had no umbrella I decided to turn back. No way, I told myself, you get your errand done even if you get dripping wet. Well, the sky cleared up immediately. I then took the subway and found I was on the wrong line. Let's turn back my mind immediately barked; I thought about it and realized that I could reach my destination by just walking for a couple of minutes. Next came a teenager with a big AC DC t-shirt Highway to Hell. I started to laugh. It became so obvious to me that my subconscious played all these tricks on me. There were many more occurrences in this direction, but I guess you got the picture by now. The fears were all mine, the higher source removed all shortcomings instantaneously to get the learning experience over with.

It is amazing how much damage the subconscious can inflict on us, but I guess that is what our spiritual discovery process is all about. Set yourself free from the shackles of your past and jump into the ocean of wisdom. The next question, however, happens to be how we can rewire our brains effectively. If somebody has experience in this direction or has a good book to recommend, please let me know.