People as Mirrors

At the gym I used to meet someone I really disliked. He had a goofy-like appearance, at least as far as I was concerned, was in his early fifties, spent his whole time exercising with a medicine ball, and the remaining time chasing women in the gym. I tried to stay out of his way as much as I could, but he must have felt my resentment: one day when my little boy played with the medicine balls he got really angry.

I tried to figure out what it was that got me exactly, and I remembered a womanizer from my high school days who I disliked as well. I never had any difficulties hooking up with women, but I also, due to my shyness, never really pursued any girl aggressively. Well, this chapter is now closed for me given that I am happily married, but I have consciously changed in several ways nevertheless: I now take much better care of my appearance, have built my body consciously and have regained some of my old youthful appearance - some gray hair notwithstanding. I also tend to be much more assertive now with both sexes despite my introvert nature. I guess if I had to summarize the entire paragraph in one expression, I have finally worked out the sex appeal I always wanted to have. Hardly had  this personal transformation taken place, the gym guy in question disappeared. It was almost  as if he was a mirror, a symbol of my repressed desires who came and went as needed.

Similarly, at work there is a colleague whose name I routinely forget. No matter how often I remind myself, his name always slips out of my memory. Oh, a Freudian slip I thought to myself. And indeed, when I tried to figure out what exactly I dislike, it's his professional style of lecturing, his flamboyant nature, and his aggressiveness. To be honest, the expression peacock came to my mind when I saw him, an expression some have used for me in the past as well. So after my recent learning experience at the gym you can probably guess what my new work-out will look like: develop the character traits I like to see in me, while cutting out the stuff I don't care for. And there is progress already, the other day the colleague in question couldn't find his key and I opened the door for him. We both smiled at each other, and while I still couldn't remember his name that instant, I am pretty sure that this slip will disappear soon like the gym guy before him.