Midlife Crisis

Norman Mailer in On God - An Uncommon Conversation presented an idea that hit me like a sledgehammer: when the ego and your soul are equally engaged in what you do, this is when you have the most energy. Conversely, when you have little energy, this is when these two forces are at odds.

This simple idea explains the midlife crisis that all of us have (or had) to deal with right there. When you grow up you are innocent and the dark forces within you first have to get activated by life's occurrences. The soul as well as the ego have a vested interest in all these accumulating experiences. The ego would like to convince you that you are out on your own, and that family, friends and colleagues are useful allies in this battle for life. The soul wants you first to learn all your lessons, and burn up a little karma in the process, and then wants to show you the way home by steadily offering you to make the right choice, that is love over ego.

During the midlife crisis you experience a sharp loss in energy and direction. You become confused, life as you know it loses its meaning, and you just feel, and look, a little old. This is because the soul, or your life's mission statement, kicks in. You are suddenly no longer on autopilot, but have to assert your true preferences and goals. This is when your energy level drops and you feel this incredible resistance.

After a lot of soul searching you find new meaning in life and are ready to take off in a new direction that makes sense to you. Perhaps you have a new job, new colleagues, a divorce or kids, or just a new interpretation for everything you have been doing. This is the point when the two forces within you work in harmony again. The ego because it knows that you are still deluding yourself in at least half your spiritual goals, and the soul because it knows that after choosing your new direction, it can take you all the way home from here by offering you the right choices along the way.

Daniel Gilbert in Stumbling on Happiness presented an interesting chart on life happiness. A group of people where asked about their happiness levels over time, and the average curve suggested that our happiness climbs into the late twenties, early thirties and then plateaus. A drop occurs in the late thirties but then stabilizes in the mid-forties and climbs from there into old age. An interesting display of the midlife crisis for the average soul.