Are we Just Deluding Ourselves?

I am currently reading "Stumbling on Happiness" a psychology gem by Daniel Gilbert and it unfortunately makes you a little depressed about our ability to perceive reality as is. We are full of psychological biases and study after study reveals that sad fact. The spiritual path traveler in particular should ask herself, should we just give up our notion that we are living in the best of all worlds by accepting everything as is? Well, you should have a pretty reliable testing device if you are really honest with yourself. Do all doors open magically for you wherever you go, or do you experience the ever-present flow? "By their fruit you should recognize them" , as the bible says. If your fruit isn't quite ripe as yet, keep on asking yourself the question what learning experience you can draw from the resistance that you are facing. In my experience, resistance is waning over the years as you react flexibly to everything life throws at you. But then, an authority such as Daniel Gilbert would probably still claim that I am deluding myself by just always putting a positive spin on whatever happens in my life. We will never know who is right, in the end there is only one authority in this world who can evaluate your true spiritual progress and that is you my friend!

Midlife Crisis

Norman Mailer in On God - An Uncommon Conversation presented an idea that hit me like a sledgehammer: when the ego and your soul are equally engaged in what you do, this is when you have the most energy. Conversely, when you have little energy, this is when these two forces are at odds.

This simple idea explains the midlife crisis that all of us have (or had) to deal with right there. When you grow up you are innocent and the dark forces within you first have to get activated by life's occurrences. The soul as well as the ego have a vested interest in all these accumulating experiences. The ego would like to convince you that you are out on your own, and that family, friends and colleagues are useful allies in this battle for life. The soul wants you first to learn all your lessons, and burn up a little karma in the process, and then wants to show you the way home by steadily offering you to make the right choice, that is love over ego.

During the midlife crisis you experience a sharp loss in energy and direction. You become confused, life as you know it loses its meaning, and you just feel, and look, a little old. This is because the soul, or your life's mission statement, kicks in. You are suddenly no longer on autopilot, but have to assert your true preferences and goals. This is when your energy level drops and you feel this incredible resistance.

After a lot of soul searching you find new meaning in life and are ready to take off in a new direction that makes sense to you. Perhaps you have a new job, new colleagues, a divorce or kids, or just a new interpretation for everything you have been doing. This is the point when the two forces within you work in harmony again. The ego because it knows that you are still deluding yourself in at least half your spiritual goals, and the soul because it knows that after choosing your new direction, it can take you all the way home from here by offering you the right choices along the way.

Daniel Gilbert in Stumbling on Happiness presented an interesting chart on life happiness. A group of people where asked about their happiness levels over time, and the average curve suggested that our happiness climbs into the late twenties, early thirties and then plateaus. A drop occurs in the late thirties but then stabilizes in the mid-forties and climbs from there into old age. An interesting display of the midlife crisis for the average soul.