On Making Choices

A spiritual aspirant was reflecting on his love for wine. He realized that a glass or two in the evening greatly helped him to 'feel connected', helped him to drown out that endless chatter in his head, all his worries, the never ending aspirations. But he also understood that often, if not most of the time, the glass or two in the end become the entire bottle and that the alcohol messed up his sleeping patterns and that his body slowly but surely showed signs of abuse. So given that he couldn't really stop himself drinking after the bottle had been opened, he sadly decided to forgo drinking wine altogether.

Does this theme resonate with you? What I find so amazing about this story, there seems to be an observer behind everything who understands what buttons to push and why. You can fill in the blanks, instead of alcohol you might be lusting after success, the satisfaction to see your opponent stumble, the desire to be safe and secure, the desire to experience some sexual fantasies, or whatever else it is that you have your eyes set on. In all these cases, there is an observer who can perceive all these demands of the 'I' and this observer can also evaluate  what the consequences all these choices will entail.

The problem is that you cannot really change who you are. If you enjoy drinking wine then that is a fact, very much like the observation that you hate a colleague, a neighbor or even a family member is a fact. Accept who you are and please don't waste your precious energy trying to tell yourself that your True Self would never be that way. The 'I' is what it is. There are some desires you need to run after to get them out of the system, there are some things you need to do just to earn your living, but then there are some activities that you  will leave by the wayside, just as our spiritual aspirant did with his alcohol abuse. This is your life, these are your choices, don't worry, you will find the Way. If your environment tells you that something is off, just adjust and merrily continue your journey.