On Aggression

He was a portfolio manager and always considered himself pretty normal. After lunch he sometimes stood in front of the window, just day-dreaming while overlooking the beautiful Boston financial skyline from his 31st floor office. He was suddenly rudely awakened by the ugliness of a thought; apparently he had just fantasized launching a rocket into a competitors' building. 'Strange', he thought, 'I wonder what what this all about'. He backtracked his thoughts and remembered that just the instance before he had remembered the investment argument with a colleague that he had,  in hindsight, won.

Amazing, isn't it, that in a simple exchange of investment views, so much hostility can be harbored. The  aggression rises just because the 'I' fears to be wrong. Whenever the 'I' attaches its self-worth to anything external, hostility is created. When you run after fame, success, wealth, status, or attractive sexual partners you will be partial and you will be aggressive. When you say 'I must not be lustful, aggressive, ambitious or fearful', you are also not solving anything. 

If you feel aggression rising in you, just accept it, don't sweep it under the carpet.The portfolio manager didn't catch the feeling of fear and aggression rising in him when he had that investment exchange last time around, but it must have been there, otherwise his mind wouldn't have come up with this violent thought association during his lunch hour. Who knows, perhaps next time around he will catch it. You are the observer of your thoughts and feelings; when you catch these bubbles when they form you can directly look into the workings of the 'I'. Look at all your thoughts and sentiments without any judgements, just observe. When you observe and accept, you have a shot at getting this tension out of your system. Perhaps  our portfolio manager has even an edge over a spiritual path traveler in figuring all this out. At least his aggression is out in the open.