On Addiction

Scientists implanted a chip in a monkey's brain which stimulated the brain the same way an orgasm would. Moreover, the monkey could activate the signal himself by pushing a button. As you probably guessed, the poor (or happy, dependent on what your perspective is) monkey pushed the button until he dropped dead.

There is a mesolymbic reward center that gets activated whenever you do whatever you do to achieve fleeting happiness: smoking, alcohol, drugs, pornography, video games, gambling, and so much more. The neurochemical reward in all these cases is dopamine; interestingly, dopamine is also the substance that get released during religious experiences, perhaps explaining why so many spiritual path travelers appear to be struggling with addiction as well. 

I always think of addiction as stairways. I am pretty sure everyone has taken a few steps down and knows what letting go of control and trading it for some fleeting moments of happiness is all about.The first glass of wine on a Friday eventing turning into a second until you wake up on Saturday morning with a hangover. Most of us can stop and can walk the stairs up again whereas for some the journey has progressed so deeply into the basement that they feel they don't have the strength anymore to turn around and proceed further and further into the abyss instead.

There is a center in the brain that makes the decisions. You can train this decision making authority just like a muscle. Just think of Martial Arts or Yoga as an example in this direction. After decades of rigorous training these masters have superior control over their body and mind. But you don't even have to be a yogi. Start a simple exercise routine such as running, a gym or even walking and you will see that if you manage to establish these workout regimes, a lot will change in your life with it. The cravings for food, smoking, etc. wane just as your energy level do do other things resumes. 

Indulging in your pleasure seeking activity translates into a loss of control. The more dopamine gets released the more you are simply on autopilot. Like the monkey in our experiment before, you push the happiness button until you pass out. I once talked to someone who had been sexually abused by his father as a child. He described that each time his father took his clothes off, you could already see in his dilated eye pupils that he had checked out mentally; a robot was at work afterwards. In fact, you probably can observe this 'point of no return' in you as well. A trigger gets activated by a smell, a memory, a person or a familiar environment and the pleasure center kicks in while the control center checks out.

It turns out that the power of mind control is nurture as much as nature. Psychologists have tested young children's ability to forgo a short-term reward such as a cookie now for two cookies later and those that were willing to wait showed superior will power in consequent experiments as adults. Who knows, perhaps you have a handicap in mind control compared to others, or perhaps your craving to experience oneness is much higher. Genes, environment, psychological cravings, lack of will-power, a lot of issues overlap here and the only real productive question is how can you stop when you don't like the direction you are taking. The last thing you want to do is to beat yourself up over not having the will-power to stop. You have the right amount of will-power, you just have to make your environment a little more conducive to succeed! 

I have two messages for you. One, stop thinking of your struggles as a battle between good and evil. When you are under the influence you are simply a different person than when you are off the stimulants. Your brain chemistry is different in both cases, it is as simple as that. My second message would be, it is a stairways, when you have walked down, you can walk up. Your advantage over the monkey is that next to the button there is a tutorial that tells you that it is in your power to stop pushing this button.

So what exactly is it that you can do? You can study the trigger points that get you hooked and learn to avoid them. You can strengthen your will power like we discussed before with a simple routine as exercising regularly or eating more consciously. You can study your psychological cravings: why exactly do you want to numb your system, what psychological substitutes are you running after when you engage in your activity? You can study your two faces by engaging in your addictive activity like a psychological experiment. What do you experience when you are hooked versus how do you feel when you are without cravings. I suggest a simple 21 day rule where for 21 days you stay off your activity and report in a diary what you experience. My rule of thumb, dependent on the activity and how seriously you are affected by it, the first 3 days of abstinence are always the hardest, whereas all other days get progressively better. When you practice this routine you will understand that the stairways is really an energy exchange. Taking a step down is a loan of energy whereas the journey up is a payback with interest. 

Lastly, I have unfortunately little to say if you already feel so hooked that you can only start the journey back with the help from others. Luckily there are many self-help centers available to come to the rescue. I would say though that everyone who has taken the steps down should be able to make the journey up as well. You set yourself up to experience your downfall; after figuring out why you want your life back, life will throw you the necessary life ring as well. You are in control of your destiny, even when you feel helpless at this moment. If you can't get up on your own, an angel will come to help you, she always does. But you have to take the first step. No one can do this for you.