The Art of Letting Go

When life begins we are tender and weak.
When life ends we are stiff and rigid.
All things, the grass, the trees, the animals in life are soft and pliant.
In death they are dry and brittle.
An army that cannot yield will suffer defeat,
and a tree that cannot bend will break.
So the soft and subtle are the companions of life,
while the stiff and unyielding are the companions of death.
Surrender brings perfection.
(The Monk and the Moon)

Eventually, we all need to learn the art of letting go. It may be our youth or our stunning figure. Perhaps the children move out and have better things to do than to visit us. Our parents will eventually die, as will some others close to us. No matter how much we cherish some things, there will be a time when we have to say good-bye.

The art of letting go is the understanding that there comes a time to let go of the old, and at the same time, welcome the birth of something new. The more it hurts to let go of the old, the more necessary it becomes to open up to the pain as well as the transition towards something else. Suffering is part of the process of letting go, yet persistent suffering can only tell you that you hanging onto something that is ready to leave.

We all own a personality trait. We understand what we like and dislike, what makes us happy and grumpy. We let these traits define us. “I like living in countryside”, “I enjoy a quiet life”, “I am spiritual”, “I am a Christian”, “I am young and beautiful”. That is all well, but the moment change comes along we feel under attack. It seems that we are not us anymore if any of the things that define us are taken from us. We bark like the dog that guards the master's property when the mailman comes along.

Sooner of later, we all have to understand that we are far bigger and far more flexible than any of these rigid classifications. Painful change is here to remind us of this fact. Yet pain is not necessary once it dawns on us who we truly are. Death can not touch the Self, defeat can't touch it, just as victory can't make the Self any bigger than it already is. Embracing the art of letting go, all these changes cannot touch us either. We can have fun whether we are young or old, considered beautiful or ugly, whether we consider ourselves spiritual or mundane, whether we are healthy or sick, surrounded by family and friends or alone, rich or poor, are the city or near nature, rain or shine.

Traveling the Tao teaches us this flexible mindset. Life reminds us who we truly are and with the help of ongoing change, rigidities and inflexible structure are simply washed away. We are far bigger and more flexible than we think. Open up to the Tao and become an artist of change!


By Christian and Su Zhen