I backed away then whereas today I wouldn't. I am an expert. I know this feeling of restlessness that makes you run away from what is. I have experienced this feeling of boredom that you want to fill with empty "entertainment", and I have seen this emptiness that you need to drown out at any cost. Along a spiritual path you discover that we are all in the same boat. For some, the choice between the ego and God has become a decision of life and death; yet it is still exactly the same problem statement.
Why do you think institutions like Addicts Anonymous have become so successful? Participants discover the Holy Spirit in the fellowship of (wo)men. They learn to fall in love with life again and experience the Higher Power they appeal to in action, often for the first time in their lives. Addicts have been set up to face this life-threatening or life-giving choice; spiritual travelers undergo it with seemingly less at stake. Yet everyone ultimately has to face the same choice, love or ego; for life or against it; everything in life boils down to this decision.
The beauty is, once this choice has been made plain to you there is actually very little more to do. You don't have to walk anywhere on your spiritual path. Love can be seen wherever you are, and in the presence of this light, the distracting voice inside shuts up. God is here to embrace always even if there is pain that needs to be released inside. Once you have made your first step towards love, the world will rush to your side to help you on your Home-coming journey.