My son was diagnosed with Autism when he was 3. Yet, it was only recently when I found that over the last 10 years I’ve done my best to prevent myself from experiencing this pain and hardship of raising a disabled child. I didn't join parents' groups on Autism because I was scared of facing their and my own pain; I didn’t do as much as I could have done for my son because I was scared of all the hard work. Now looking back I realize that it was "just" my fear of facing the situation.
When your path is destined to go to the valley, you may just wander around to avoid that journey. But deep inside you know that you are just wasting your time. You are going nowhere until you have faced what is. Yet, when we face what is with courage, suddenly, we realize, it is just an experience. Why should we be scared of experiencing something and insist that we should only have bliss in our life?
Can you imagine the pain when you know that your child is different? Can you imagine the pain when you see a loved one is dying? Let me tell you, it really, really, hurts! It was a special moment when I cried out loud for my child and held him in my arms? Finally, I am ready to go through all these difficulties with him. Yes, my dear child, let me hold your hand and walk you through this dark tunnel! I am here for you!
By Su Zhen