Tuesday, January 6, 2015

When the Intellect Overwhelms the Feelings

My father spent his working life as a judge for family matters and - I think - broke down over it. He developed bipolar and spent most of his retired life in depression. I feel I have walked in his shoes enough to understand what may have happened. He followed the law by the letter, just as every judge is supposed to, but must have known deep inside that justice was not always served that way. Yang dominated yin; his intellect overwhelmed his feelings. 

One day it occurred to me that I am exactly like him. I am also a mind driven person and on many occasions just mentally overwrote my feelings in the past as well. My father chose the law profession, whereas I chose economics instead. Both professions are equally surreal. As an economist you somehow "calculate" how the economy - the sum of the national activity - the income, profitability and wellbeing of millions will progress. How weird is that? Can a national yardstick even be measured, let alone be forecasted? 

I am grateful to the Way for having taught me in recent years who I really am. Both at work and in my hobby as a spiritual writer, I have the pleasure to work with women who help me getting in touch with my feeling side. I have also made it a habit that whenever there is a disagreement between the mind and the heart, I always "feel twice" before I make a decision and double-check with those who tend to know better than me. Once you know that you have a bias, you just create the support system to deal with it and it is not a big problem.

The journey of the Way is the road towards wholeness. It is ok if you have a particular starting point, a gift that makes you somehow special. The Way will utilize your strength just as She did for me. I could earn a handsome living with my intellect, but now my profession forces me to get in touch with my intuitive and extroverted side. It is an uphill climb but this effort makes me in fact whole. It certainly took a while to reach where I am today, but I can honestly say that today I am in touch with my feelings and listen to the quiet Voice inside. Yin and yang go hand and mind and heart are in touch with each other all thanks to the Way. 

No comments: