We don’t like experiencing negative emotions. We certainly hate pain! However, these negative emotions and feelings are really telling us that something is not quite right in our life.They are just like messengers. When we refuse to experience and understand them, they keep resurfacing. It is not their intention to torture us; they are here to help us understand that we require some change in our life. It could be a new diet, more exercise, a belief system that doesn't work for us, or a simple message to let go of something that we are clinging to.
A lot of times we have opinions about our emotions and lose the chance to simply accept them. We stop these emotions in the tracks and sometimes repress them according to the image we have about ourselves. In doing so, we only live in our own head. We lead a life according to our ego's perspective and not reality. We create conflict with ourselves, and often with our environment, even as we mean well.
Few realize this, but often it is our spiritual beliefs that create havoc. We tell ourselves to be kind to people even though we don't like them deep down inside. We start out with the mission to be angels but as the decades go by, become hell's angels instead without even realizing it. The world needs saving, we say, and rescue it like an elephant in the China shop. No, let the negative emotions speak to you. Reposition, save yourself and save the world with it.
Every time we have negative feelings about others we brush them under the carpet in the name of spirituality. Don't! Having negative feelings and thoughts about others doesn't mean that we are going to hurt them. Understanding ourselves is different from allowing ourselves to hurt others in person. In contrast, accepting them, letting them flow trough our system gives us a shot at changing the miserable situation we are in.
Allowing our negative emotions and thoughts to the surface gives us an opportunity to find a solution that works for everyone. Maybe it is best if we part with that particular person; just maybe she reminds of something that we have not even granted ourself. So just maybe there is nothing wrong with her at all and she is simply the messenger who is able to lift us up to a much more fulfilling life.
As we allow all these negative feelings and thoughts to flow through us, life will help us to find solutions. Life is always here to lift us up, as long as we equally welcome Her messengers, be them messengers of the darkness or the light. Once we discover in ourself the ability to truly take care of our own needs, our resentment towards others will also vanish into thin air. Happy people don't resent, they are way to busy to engage with life to mind what others are up to.
Learning to accept and digest all emotions is a way of learning to love ourselves. Whenever we are able to accept our own emotions unconditionally, we naturally fall in love with ourselves. Sometimes it takes a good while for our emotion to settle down; that's ok too, just let the storm pass. It is a good time for us to be patient with ourselves. Whenever we are able to develop this patience with ourself, we are also able to be patient with others.
Whenever we are soft, flexible, and patient with our emotions, love flows through us for that is our natural state. Fall in love with yourself, fall in love with life and become Her greatest lover!
By Christian and Su Zhen