Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Just take away that nagging feeling ...

As he reaches for that glass of wine, he just want to experience that moment of calmness, happiness and warmth. When he goes for that cigarette, he just wants to experience this mental clarity; the feeling of security and peace that comes with the big inhale. 

She holds onto him, as he grabs the car keys. Even though he has been abusing her, she begs him, "don't leave, I need you!" Meanwhile her son shuts out all this stuff in the basement as he plays his video games. He does not realize the cloud that descends on him, but his mother always does, as he is grumpy and hyper for hours afterwards.

Do I need to go on? Nearly everything can be used as a filler for disappointment, fear and emptiness: gambling, sex, eating shopping, co-dependence; the list goes on and on. Don't get me wrong, we all deserve a little happiness and a little distraction, but when an activity becomes compulsive, or the negative pattern get repeated, you have a priceless opportunity to check what goes on beneath the hood.

The unknown can be scary at times, but what choice do we have but to face it. Hurts are coming our way just as blessings, but do you really think that we can shut out one part of life while enjoying the other? A spiritual path is all about facing the "what is", to be open to life and to embrace it, no matter what; to experience the joy and excitement of what is in all the the ups and downs of life.

Today I read the note of a single mother at the Spiritual Networks community who complained about her hard life and the unknown she has to face day in, day out, and I was thinking to myself that I am going through exactly the same emotion at my work. We are all in the same boat. Just accept the possibility that something could go wrong, face the pain of the unknown, and then take your best foot forward despite it. Feel the fear, and do it anyway!

This nagging feeling that many of us want to shut out is not only about the future, it is also about the past. Another woman in the SN community observed this morning that the pain of her past bubbled to the surface, and she felt helplessly exposed to it. I used to have those nights when I would wake up at 2 or 3 am, without being able to go back to bed. I felt incredibly destructive then and would simply try to shut out the voices that wanted to be heard by watching pornography. Today, I spend time with myself instead, despite the empty feeling. Sometimes, I listen to music, write or correspond with my friends in the spiritual community.

Give the feelings a chance to bubble to the surface. Your life will thank you for it. We are that strong to face the ghosts of the past or the future. You have a network of friends and creative outlets to face whatever comes your way. Muster your strength, hold onto to the Way and fall in love with life and yourself - one step at a time!

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