So often we have mistakenly thought that if we love someone, we should share their pain just to show our loyalty. This especially happens to children. Subconsciously, they feel guilty to have a happy life if their parents have struggled for their whole life. Kids somehow feel that they betray their parents if they go any other way. This is the silly love of children trying to be loyal to their parents. How silly! Do they somehow think that parents will be happy to see their kids in distress? And which child won't feel heavy if their parents worry a lot about their future?
It is hard to recognize these subconscious patterns. It might be hard to recognize them in yourself, but you might discover them in your in-laws, or your friends. Slowly, you start discover these patterns in yourself and your children as well. Let's stop these inter-generational misery traps in the tracks. Love with consciousness!
By Su Zhen