I find it hard to belief what Sigmund Freud got away with. Certainly, Freud's insights on the power of sexual repression were an enormous step forward, and came at a time when Western societies were finally able to step out of the shadows of church oppression. Yet, some of his others so-called scientific break-throughs were nothing but idiosyncratic self-observation wrapped up with a lot of scientific blah blah.
The so-called "death instinct" that he discovered later in life is one such example. I am in my 50s now, and I too have discovered that "instinct" in myself. It is just a misnomer. All this "death instinct" really is, is the ego beating you up, calling you names and telling you that you and humanity would be better off dying. Why would you call this voice an instinct, you should call it a moment of delusion instead. Psychology is the wrong discipline for this insight though; that's where spirituality comes in.
Meet the Spirit and the ego and the voice in your head will be melting into nothingness. That's why we spiritual travelers advise you to go inwards, or to meet divinity in the holy interaction with life and fellow (wo)man. You can handle this rascal called ego only that long and one day he will simply wear you down. So you can in fact rejoice over the mid-life crisis when the wear and tear of your own self-abuse finally shows and when you simply no longer have the energy to keep going as before. Every spiritual traveler can tell you that the wall that you perceive and feel as you bang your head into is not real. Take a few steps around it and let Her show you the Way.