Lift Others, Lift Yourself

If a personal coach or spiritual guru helps you overcome some internal struggles, she must be pretty good at what she does and must be whole herself. I can't say for myself that I have reached this maturity; what I have managed to do - thus far at least - is to keep my head over water despite all my inner conflicts. In fact, the big break-through moment for me has been to accept some conflicting aims and desires that are running through me, facing them and manage to keep going in spite of them.

There was a time when I learned that one of my colleagues had cancer. When I met him, I told him about my spiritual path and he was naturally quite interested in it, hoping that I might have some helpful suggestions for his struggles. Unfortunately, all I could offer him in the end was some emotional support; he died before we could start a healing discussion. What I have learned in the meantime though, the inner conflict that probably contributed to his illness, I suffer from myself. So if anything, his premature death only strengthened my determination to find healing opportunities for myself along my spiritual path.

After the painful wake-up call of losing a friend, I also have become much more cautious reaching out to other spiritual travelers and friends who need support. Not because I don't feel compassionate, and certainly not because I don't want to help, but rather because I realized that I myself need care and attention. When you help transforming a friend in need, you in fact get transformed yourself. And that joint healing journey requires energy and it takes time. But in the end I have just slowed down a little and not reversed course. Certainly, when the Tao knocks on my door I will always open it. A higher authority is in charge, and She knows more about my healing potential and the energy at my disposal than I do. 

Maybe one day I am whole and strong enough to be a professional life coach myself. Either way, what I already know today is that every spiritual traveler is qualified to share her lessons learned with others. Conflicted, or healing, connected to the Way, or missing a beat, we always accumulate priceless spiritual insights that beg to be communicated. It is my passion and mission to write down these lessons learned along the Way in this forum, and I would encourage you to do the same for your fellow-travelers.