I remember Jed McKenna once saying that when he experienced "enlightenment", it was as if he was leaving his old self behind for a while, but when he had to come back to earth, he had a persona to pick, so he figured he might as well pick his old self again, as it had worked for him quite well up to that point.
The bundle called "I" is a persona consisting of ego, memories, expectations, drives, soul longings and your God connection. Be proud of it and stop speculating how the "I" would look like if it wasn't for your ego, drives or other longings. You are who you are until that blessed moment when you are able to leave that all that stuff behind; enjoy "enlightenment" if you stumble on it, but please don't wait for Godot until then. Be proud of that beautiful bundle called "I".