Have you ever observed yourself when you are angry? What is going through your mind when you are angry? Do you just reflect it, and lash out at the people who make you angry? Or do you repress your anger in the name of spirituality?
You probably have seen both endings to the movie. When you lash out at those who hurt you, you do recycle the energy, but afterwards your spiritual super ego beats you up over it. But then, if you let it be and swallow the poison, people will only take advantage of you, and you will bleed inside. So no matter how you deal with anger, you unfortunately lose either way.
As you keep observing, you find out who are you really angry at God. You are mad at God that these things are happening to you and you are mad at Him for torturing you. As you keep observing, you find out that you are really mad at yourself. All these negative things that happen to you show you your limits. They are your obstacles in this life journey. They are some lessons you haven’t yet mastered. They challenge you, and you don't know how to respond. These challenges drive you crazy. Instead of changing yourself to deal with these situations in an acceptable way for all parties involved, you just project all your frustrations to these occasions and people.
You are not cursed to have this life. You are here to awake yourself from all these tortures. Actually, more than that, these obstacles are there to give you the chance to break through all your self-imposed limits. Use these obstacles and the obnoxious people to catapult yourself to your Self. Once you realize this, you will in fact be grateful for these people for giving you the chance to be free!
Use all your difficult situations and problems to stretch your limits. Let go of them, one by one. You are here to experience that you are the master of your life.
By Su Zhen